Saturday, November 28, 2009

My Amazing Boy

Sometimes, nay frequently, I can't believe he's my kid.

Takes my breath away.

Friday, November 27, 2009


Ben's first Thanksgiving was a success, which was not a surprise, as one of Ben's favorite passtimes is eating! We hosted Grandma and Grandpa (Rivera), Pops and Grammy (Jacobson) and the Lerners.
We tried to get a nice family picture but Ben seems to have developed a new hobby, which does not make for very classy photographs.
*Note the position of Ben's finger.Ben enjoyed all of the same foods that we did: turkey, sweet potatoes, stuffing, cranberries, and even a little pumpkin pie for dessert.

A great time was had by all.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

11 Months

Dear Benjamin Jay,
Today you are 11 months old and you are already such a boy. I mean, sure, you were a boy when you were born—before, in fact. But now you are REALLY a boy—a sticky sweet, hot headed, boogery boy.
You like to open and close doors and cabinet drawers.
You like to crawl around in the dirt.
You try to put everything in your mouth.
You grab at faces and stick your fingers in mouths other than your own.
You scream and shout and cackle.
You shake your arms when you get frustrated.
You shove food in your mouth with no regard for quantity.

You are sweet and adoring and intelligent.
You love to play and learn and watch.
You take such interest in children and animals.
You do not let the world pass you by but you observe, quietly and reservedly.
You enjoy the art of a good conversation, mostly with yourself so far.
Your gray/brown/hazel eyes sparkle in the light and are, indeed, a window into your soul.


I always want to remember how at this very time in your life, your much adored left thumb is cracked and wrinkled from its important use. I want to remember how blissful you look when your fingers rub the satiny lining on your favorite stuffed bunny blanket as I lay you in your crib to sleep. And all I hear on the monitor is the quiet clicking of your little mouth sucking that cracked thumb. How peaceful you make my heart.

This has been another incredible month, full of new and breathtaking milestones.
You are now clapping. You have two new words (duck, pop). You can walk along the edge of furniture and by holding on to the windowsills. You can walk behind a push toy. We all survived your bout with croup.
Just when I feel as though each day is looking like the last, I pause, and look back from whence we came, and take a deep breath, and look forward to tomorrow.

Thank you for helping me do that, day after day and month after month.


Monday, November 9, 2009


I have officially been a Stay At Home Mom now for about 5 weeks. I find that when in public, I can barely even utter the phrase without qualifying it (“Oh, I’m staying home with Ben now but will be going back to work at some point.”) It has been an interesting experience so far, to be sure. I understand how truly lucky I am to be in a situation that allows for me to be at home, instead of at work. I feel tremendously lucky and privileged to be able to do this.

This time is made even more bittersweet with the knowledge that I will return to work again someday, maybe soon, maybe not so soon—and will leave my boy in the care of someone else. And then I’m sure I will pine for these days.

And yet…some days are hard. I won’t lie—it’s not all sparkles and moonbeams around here. Sick days are the worst, both mine and his. It’s 100% harder to parent when sick and it’s equally challenging and exhausting to parent a sick child.

Then there are the days when sickness or weather issues come up and we are stuck inside. Now that Ben is (extremely) active and mobile, we can tear up the house pretty quickly. It’s truly better for both of us if we have, ideally, a morning and an afternoon activity.
Ben appreciates getting out, too. He adores being around other children (other adults he can take or leave) and I enjoy seeing him interact and try and figure out this social world. Then the magic hour arrives and Daddy comes home. To see Ben’s eyes light up at the very sight of Jonathan is a gift that I just can’t get enough of.

And yet…some days fly by, others drag.
Some moments are so precious you want to repeat them over and over, and there are some episodes that do not bear repeating.
Some days are fresh and full of new milestones; others feel like days gone by.

Parenthood is certainly about riding the ebbs and flows and staying at home is no exception.

Please do not misunderstand this—I love my son and am so, so lucky to be able to be here with him to see all of the amazing things he is doing. Plenty of parents out there would give anything to be in my shoes, it’s just some days I feel like I’m wearing them on the wrong feet!

Monday, November 2, 2009


Ben's 1st Halloween was a fun one!
We started with a party with our friends from playgroup.
Ben was a pumpkin (courtesy of Auntie Beth, who made him this adorable hat).At the local neighborhood festival, Ben was a panda (courtesy of our downstairs neighbors, who had this costume in their stash).
Good thing the costume was so warm. It was quite chilly outside!