Father's Day/6 month appointment

Ooh boy. I am behind in my posting! Just a quick catch-up...

We celebrated Father's Day (Fathers' Day?) at the Jacobsons' house with all four grandparents and, of course, Daddy!

We had a wonderful brunch and I snapped this awesome picture of the men/boy, minus Uncle Dan.

Ben also had his 6 month appointment today (a bit late due to shots having to be given at certain intervals).

He's 2'3'' tall and weighs 19lbs 6.6oz (85th percentile). We were actually in the office closer to Ben's actual 6 month birthday due to a mysterious rash (turned out to be a virus) and his true 6 month weight was 18lbs 9oz.

Speaking of 6 month birthdays, during our Father's Day brunch, Grammy made our boy a very special half birthday cake and we sang a quick and melodious rendition of happy birthday.

For my records, Ben is currently eating: rice cereal, oatmeal, avocado, peas, carrots and bananas, with avocado being the clear favorite. Next, sweet potatoes!

Swim class

Pops and Ben are doing a tot swim class at the Evanston YMCA on Saturday mornings and the first class was this past weekend. Pops (my dad) took me to my first set of swimming classes at the Leaning Tower Y when I was a wee lass...so it's fitting that he gets to introduce Ben to the water, too.

Ben and Pops had a chance to get their feet wet (ugh) in the pool before the class started, which suited Ben just fine.

As soon as the crowd of kids appeared, he tensed up a bit but we would still consider the experience a success.

Ben was the youngest in the class by about six months--and Pops was the oldest life preserver by, ahem, slightly more than six months!

We'll see if we can turn this one into an Olympic swimmer!

6 Months!

Dear Ben,
Tomorrow you are a whole half year old—six months! I'm posting on the eve of the actual day because we have to be up very early tomorrow in order to get to work/school on time.

Before I get nostalgic for a few paragraphs, let’s hit the basics of you:
Note: haven’t yet had your six month pediatrician appointment but my money’s on 90th percentile for weight. Bets, anyone? (Addition: had a sick visit to the pediatrician (had a rash) on Tuesday and you weigh…18lbs 9.9oz. Porker.)

Eating
So far you have enjoyed rice cereal, oatmeal, avocado and we tried peas this morning but didn’t grind the skins enough and you gagged. Sorry about that. We’ll do jarred peas until you get some teeth.
You eat with gusto and it only took about a week of me jamming rice cereal into your barely opened mouth before you figured out the process. Seems like a relatively minor skill, but still you remind us just how exciting these little accomplishments can be.

Sleeping
You are an okay sleeper. You are a thrasher, always moving around, keeping an ear open for something exciting going on—you never want to miss the fun!
Fortunately, you are having more and more nights of uninterrupted sleep. About once ever three nights you will sleep straight through from about 6:15ish until 6ish. Not too shabby.
Soon we’ll try to keep you up a bit later so you can sit at the dinner table with us, and so you can sleep a little later in the morning. But don’t worry, we’re not going to mess with your schedule just yet.
You are mostly a tummy sleeper (which is okay now according to Dr. Robinson) but we will find you on your side some nights, sucking away on whatever thumb happens to be closest to your mouth. Mommy enjoys hearing your suck-suck-suck noises on the monitor.
Pooping
Aside from having some trouble digesting your oatmeal, you are an accomplished pooper. Let’s just say I do look forward to toilet training you. You can thank me later for not including a picture of this!

Temperament
You are still teething quite a bit (although I have yet to see any actual teeth popping out) and it makes you sad. Fortunately you are still showing us your easy going, good natured manner more often than not.
Most mornings you wake up with a cry but settle down right away and flash that gummy grin.

School
You are going to school three days a week and aside from the permanent nasal congestion you seem to have picked up there, I’d say the place suits you just fine. You have three wonderful teachers and are very well stimulated. We hear that you don’t really like bubbles, though, and you proved this by flinching as I was opening the bubbles container—also proving that you have developed some memory.

Sappy Stuff
Ben, you are a great little boy. You are interested in the things and people (and cats) that happen into your life and your very presence brings out the best in others. We are constantly being told just how cute you are (which we already know) and how well behaved you are (which we also already know). Those things are so nice to hear—but what’s most important to us is that you are happy. And most of the time you are, which means we are too.

Love love love love love love you.

Mama

Birth

I’m not actually sure why I haven’t written this sooner. I guess the experience needed to settle a bit before I was ready to put "pen to paper." I know details have been lost in my mind but here's the gist of the story.

Chapter 1: Ready or not

Evening of Tuesday, December 16th

There had been a huge snow storm and choir was cancelled. I celebrated by going to bed early—around 9. I was exhausted, for some reason, and although 9pm was a very early bedtime for me even in the late stages of pregnancy, I felt that I needed to hit the sack.
Jonathan followed at the more socially acceptable time of 10:30.

At 11pm I woke up suddenly and something in my body told me to get up out of bed immediately. I did, and felt warm fluid rolling down my legs. I wondered if my water had broken or if I had lost bladder control, which I had always imagined was a real possibility for extremely pregnant women. I waddled to the bathroom and determined that I was not, in fact, incontinent. Then it occurred to me: I was just 37 weeks, 2 days. Was it too early to have this baby healthily? Would he be big enough?

The thought was fleeting as I had to figure out how to wake my husband and alert him to our impending parenthood.

I grabbed Jonathan’s bath towel and held it between my legs as I shuffled back into the dark bedroom.

“Uh, honey?”
“Huh?” says a sleepy Jonathan.
“I think my water just broke.”

I have never seen this guy wake up so fast as I did that night. Together we assessed the situation and I called the on-call doctor to discuss what to do. I remember saying, “Sorry to bother you but either my water just broke or I have lost bladder control.” The doc advised us to come in and get checked out.

Although we had 4 hours to get ready and come in, the snow made us a little leery so we showered, did some last minute straightening up and headed in.

I had never expected this to start in this way. I was hoping to be a little early but was figuring I’d be late, just like most first time moms. But here we were, on our way to the hospital. Couldn’t believe it. Already my birth experience was different than I’d imagined.Now don’t get me wrong. Dr. Hoprasart and I had talked about my birth plan and my only real goal was a healthy mom and a healthy baby. I tried hard not to lock myself into any expectations, for fear that I’d be spending my labor energy being disappointed when there were many more productive uses for something so precious.

Chapter 2: The Wait

I had frequently played out the drive to the hospital in my mind. I predicted that my contractions were going to be 5 minutes apart and that I would have had at least 3 in the car. We had picked our route based not only on speed but also on potholes, as Chicago/Evanston was riddled with them thanks to the brutal winter plowing.

As we headed out I realized that what I had imagined this part of our journey to be like was way off—already the second of many times this would happen to us over the next 30+ hours.

The drive to the hospital took about12 minutes (helps to be on the roads at 1am). We were calm, I experienced no major contractions to speak of, and we didn’t need to pull over. The nursing staff were expecting us and ushered us into our Labor and Delivery room.

Wednesday, December 17

I changed into a gown and when asked, reported that I was having some discomfort that I thought were contractions. Oh boy was I wrong.

I was eager to get checked and see if my body had made any progress but the only thing that would get checked at this point was my amniotic sac, which was deemed to indeed be ruptured. Hooray! I wasn’t incontinent!

Since I wasn’t having contractions, I was given 1.5 hours to walk around to try to get things going naturally. I asked the doctor on call (not my OB) how many hours they’d allow me to go since my water had broken and it was reported that as long as the baby was tolerating labor well and I didn’t get a fever, there was really no specific time line to be followed. Great!

Our admitting nurse checked my blood pressure and realized it was quite high. Preeclampsia became an immediate concern and a urine sample was obtained using a straight catheter (not fun) to determine if there was protein in my urine. Fortunately this was not the case and I was allowed my full hour and a half walk around the quiet Women’s Hospital lobby.

We walked and walked and walked in slow circles around the fountain, stopping to grab sips of water and marvel at what was to come. We laughed at the security guard who had undoubtedly seen many couples walk these steps before us. We felt very in control and calm.

Although our walk bolstered our spirits, it really didn’t do anything for my labor. I thought I felt uncomfortable every now and then but when we got back to the room and got hooked up to the contraction monitor, it was determined that I wasn’t really having much in the way of productive contractions at all. Sigh.

Pitocin was started and I was now bound to the room, on continuous monitoring.

Contractions started to pick up and Jonathan helped by reading the print-out from the contraction seismometer, as we called it, and I was able to manage the contractions just fine. Only problem: as soon as I’d establish a pattern of good, strong contractions, they’d peter out. After several increases in the pitocin level, I figured it was time for an epidural.

It had been 8 hours. There had been a nursing shift change. Life was being lived all around us and we were in a time warp. Finally it was determined that it was time for a cervix check, and I was thrilled, as this was the only real way to measure all this good work I’d been doing through these tough contractions. I was sure I’d be at 6 or 7 and that the next few centimeters would fly by after I got my epidural and was able to sleep.

The verdict: two. Two measly centimeters dilated and 50% effaced. The resident who checked me looked sad—must have been a reflection of what she saw on my face although I was working hard not to be too disappointed. She guessed that my cervix was still “high and tight” when I went in to labor and that my water broke without my body really being ready to progress.

Third time my expectations were sorely off. But, after processing with Jonathan, I decided that the epidural was still in order.

Chapter 3: Blessed Anesthesia

At some point in the early morning our parents were called, as were our respective bosses. My parents requested to come over for a quick visit, as my mother was scheduled to have an incision check at her surgeon’s office across the street from the hospital. I allowed them to come in but asked that the visit would be short. I didn’t really feel like entertaining and they completely understood. Their visit indeed short and sweet—nothing like the sight of your daughter swaying around on a birthing ball, deep in the throes of multiple contractions to send one willingly out the door.

I always knew I wasn’t one of those types that had a strong desire to give birth without the help of drugs. I didn’t want a ton of medical interventions, but having already been started on pitocin didn’t bode well for steering clear of those.

Our wonderful nurse talked to me about the epidural and what I’d need to do. Sit still sit still sit still was basically what I heard her say. Check. I can do it. She also gave me a quiet warning: the anesthesiologist on call is the best in the hospital but he’s a little…quirky. Turned out to be the understatement of the century.

Before long, in walks the bright eyed (always a good sign) anesthesiologist who looked to have a steady hand and an enthusiasm for his work. Okay. I won’t lie—I didn’t care if the guy was half asleep and had just rolled in from a night of partying. As long as he could stick a needle in my back and make the pain subside, I’d practically marry the guy. Just stick the needle in, Man, I remember thinking.

After giving my consent (side note: Doctors, please do not expect coherent answers to questions asked of heavily laboring women who are forced to sit still through major contractions—the nurse had to keep telling the doc that I couldn’t answered as I was in the middle of a contraction), the doctor had Jonathan sit down and the procedure was started. After a few minutes I felt the coldness seep into my abdomen and legs and then…my legs turned to tree trunks. I was not prepared for this feeling and it momentarily threw me off—any attempt to move my legs using my mind alone would prove a huge challenge but I got into a comfortable position and dozed off.

Hours passed. It was all of a sudden Thursday, December 18th . Nurses and residents come in and ask how I’m doing. We look at the contraction monitor and were hopeful. Lots of seismic activity. It is determined that the pitocin needs to be turned up again and I am starting to feel the contractions through the epidural. I was actually happy about this because I figured progress was being made.

At one point our lovely nurse (#3) came in with a smile and asked if I was feeling pressure. “I don’t know,” I answered. “Maybe, yes?” She was enthusiastic as this could mean real progress.

And then things changed. Several times over the next hour or so the team of nurses would rush into the room and demand that I change positions. The baby’s heart rate was decelerating, and they wanted to make sure the cord wasn’t compressed.
I started to think this wasn’t so fun and exciting anymore and that I’d really like to get the ball rolling.

Soon after, the next on-call doctor came in (still not my OB) and we talked realistically about my progress. They were going to check me and if I hadn’t made significant progress, the baby would have to be delivered via cesarean section. I look at the clock and realize that it’s 5am. I have been laboring for over 30 hours. I still have no baby and by golly, I am very curious to meet the little fellow that is causing all this commotion.
I am checked and determined to be a measly 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced. Surgery it is.

Jonathan and I take a few minutes to process. We think back over the last many hours and can’t think of anything else we’d have done differently. I am not sad at this point but more excited than ever because finally, something was going to happen. We pack up our room and Jonathan gets whisked away to gown up for surgery.

Chapter 4: Surgery
The necessary preparations are made and I am hauled onto a gurney and wheeled into the operating room. The doctor on-call, (STILL not my OB) is kind and things happen very quickly.
Jonathan sits by my head and surgery starts. Not 10 minutes later, a cry is heard. It is 6:11am. I am asked what the baby’s name is and nobody can hear me through my tears. Jonathan says proudly “Benjamin Jay,” and it is at that moment that I see him, fleetingly, over the curtain. He is handed to the neo-natal team and is given a hearty rub down and some deep suction. His apgars are 9/9, which is great. He is 7lbs. 3oz—big for his gestational age, and 20.75 inches. He is handed to Jonathan who promptly holds him down where I can see and I promptly...throw up. I promise it’s not a reflection of how I felt about our child but I’m told that when one’s organs are being shifted around in one’s mid-section, this was not an uncommon occurrence. I’ll never forget the picture of Jonathan holding Ben in one arm and an emesis basin in the other for me. Ah, marriage.

I’m closed up (Jonathan tells me that the doctors are talking about restaurants during this part of the surgery—not sure how to feel about that!) and Jonathan and Ben headed to the nursery while I go to recovery.

Ben needed a little extra time in the nursery to warm up after his bath and we were finally reunited in the room that was to house our new family for the next three days. As the snow came down and the temperatures plummeted, we got to know each other and started the bonding process.

After 5 and a half months with Ben, we are still getting to know each other and I still marvel at the journey that we had as he made his entrance into the world. Throughout the entire experience, I always felt calm and in control. Jonathan was at his very best and did exactly what was needed. We fully trusted our fantastic team of doctors and nurses (an aside, my OB was finally able to get the hospital minutes after I came out of surgery and we had a comical discussion about my next labor at my recovery bedside) and although there were multiple twists and turns that weren’t planned for, ultimately I got what I wanted: a healthy mama and a healthy baby.

Turns out there’s a lesson in all of this. Hard to see when you’re in the moment but it came to me clearly in the depths of a late night feeding session weeks after Ben’s birth: flexibility leads to better parenting and a happier life. A good lesson for a scheduler and planner, like myself.

Almost six months later, I am now happy to refer to myself as a “recovering Type A person.” I have Benjamin Jay to thank for that.

Welcome to the world and to our family, Mr. Cheeks.

It's been a while...

Sorry, Fair Readers, about my lack of updates lately. Been busy with life, adjusting to school/work, and holidays. No matter how hard I try to get the world to slow down, the sun always goes down faster than I'd like. Guess that's life.

Meanwhile, our boy keeps getting cuter and bigger (!) and is doing all sorts of neat things.

Today, in fact, he really mastered the tummy to back roll, which hopefully means that he won't wake up furious when he flips over in his crib at night. I keep telling him that if he didn't want to be on his belly, he should stop turning over onto it in the first place but he just won't listen.

Infants. They're so, well, infantile.

He now eats rice cereal with enthusiasm and eagerly opens his mouth in anticipation. Little does he know what gastric delights await his palate in a few short months... Squash! Beans! Peas! His little world will be rocked.

Aside from that, Ben had his first swing experience with our neighbor Uma at Touhy Park on a cold Memorial Day. You can't tell from this picture, but he enjoyed himself.

Okay. Back to reality, wherein I hope to get a few more things done before this day slips away from us, just like all the others.

5 Months

Dear Little (Big) Boy,
Did I miss something? Has it really been 5 whole months since you arrived on this planet? The calendar says so, so it must be true.
This has been an exciting month for you—and for our little family, too.

So I'm 5 months old. Tell everyone to stop looking at me.

You started “school” and I went back to work. I won’t say it was the easiest thing either of us has ever done, but I am confident that we are both going to be okay—better than okay, actually. I find myself wondering what you are doing at any given moment and sometimes I can’t resist the temptation to pop downstairs and peek into your classroom. I know I can’t do this forever, but for the first few weeks I think the teachers don’t mind.

Too tired to believe I am 5 months old!

Speaking of, the teachers in your classroom are like the wisest mothers you will ever meet. I walked a fussy You into the room for the first time last week and mentioned that I thought you were reacting to the type of formula we were trying. No, the all said, you are teething.

Huh?

See the drooling?

See the gnawing on hands?

Oh.

Right.

Smash! Smash the 5 months old!

At not even 5 months old, you were teething. Not that I can see any teeth, but the process can take a long time. This, little buddy, is one of the best reasons that we put you in child care—so that Mommy can learn how to be the best parent she can be by following the lead of some pretty awesome women.

Already reading at 5 months old!

Aside from starting school and teething, we had visits from the Vegas Riveras,the Indianapolis Nowakowskis and the L.A. Riveras. People are pouring in to Chicago to meet you and you don’t disappoint. Well, maybe I was a little disappointed when you decided to empty the contents of your stomach onto my lap after church on Sunday. Look, if you don’t want to go, you can simply tell me next time! Wait...you mean I'M 5 months old? No way!

So, our new adventure has started this month and you seem up for the challenge. Hopefully your old Maw can hang with you. If you hear me sniffling as I walk away from your classroom in the morning, just keep on playing, Little Guy. I’ll see you at the end of the day.

You know? This 5 month old thing isn't so bad after all!


Can't wait to have more adventures with you.

Love,
Mama

Week One

This is Ben’s first week in child care and my first week back at work. It has been an unusual week, schedule-wise, because Carole Robertson Center for Learning (CRCL) has a gradual admission process for enrolling kids so our week has thus far looked like this:

Monday: Ben and Mommy spend the morning together in his classroom
Tuesday: Ben and Mommy spend the morning together in the classroom and Daddy spends an hour with us, too
Wednesday: Ben and Mommy spend an hour together in the classroom and then Ben spends 3 hours alone in the classroom
Tomorrow: Ben’s first full day in the classroom, Mommy’s first full day in the office

The fact that Ben’s teeth have decided that now is the appropriate time to begin their arduous ascent is really what I would call BAD TIMING!

So, this has been a hard week for the lad (and for his mother, more on that later). He’s irritable, not sleeping very well or eating with much regularity and he has to adjust to different caregivers and a totally new environment. Keep in mind that CRCL is a top notch educational facility and so much more than just a child care center (yes, it’s also where I work so I am a tad biased, I confess) and he is still having trouble getting used to everything being so different. Here’s the kicker: I totally expected this, but it is still hard to see him out of his comfort zone and not showing his true sweet, calm side to all the people that are meeting him for the first time.

In my heart of hearts, I know that he will adjust beautifully. He has extraordinary teachers who have helped raise many, many children over the years and I am honored to share my son with them. I know that he will make great friends and have neat experiences. He will get colds and lice and pink eye and will be just fine. He will go on nature walks and run through sprinklers and paint and get messy. He will eat balanced meals and not so balanced meals. I am thrilled for him just thinking of all the fun that’s in store.

When I went to pick Ben up to go home for the day and caught up with his class during their rainy day inside-the-center walk, I rounded the corner and saw my boy, riding in the 6-seat buggy with five of his new friends. He was looking around, taking in the new sites and smells and it dawned on me: he is learning how to be okay without me. That thought simultaneously made my heart swell with pride, and break just a bit.

I feel as though I have just had my initiation into the illustrious Sorority of Mothers. It is an amazing privilege and an honor to be a part of this group.