The Chicago Riveras

Words

2009-12-30T09:54:00.002-06:00

For posterity, just wanted to upload the short speeches Jonathan and I said at Ben's party.

Daddy:
It’s so cliché to say that having a baby changes your life forever. Well after a year of being a parent, I’d like to say that having Ben has changed my life forever. Now there are only two phases in my life: before Ben’s birth and after Ben’s birth.
Just how much as my life changed? Well, all of my memories of before Ben’s birth seem like a distant dream; told to me by a third-person narrator. I know that I had experiences before Ben’s birth, but they seem like some old VHS tapes that I haven’t watched in a long while. Now, over the past year, my wife and I have been living fully in the present as main characters of Ben’s rapidly unfolding life-story.
I believe that children are an amazing blessing to us because they present incredible challenges to our daily lives. And I’m not just talking about the challenge of collapsing a Pack ‘n Play, or measuring formula at 3 o’clock in the morning. I’m also talking about the challenges that children bring to our way of life and our pre conceived notions. A child’s mind is purely idealistic, untarnished by fears and biases that we adults accumulate throughout our lives. If we let them, children will change not only our daily routine, but also our values and ideals.
It’s so fitting that the stories of the central figures of the Jewish and Christian traditions begin at birth. Scripture goes into vivid detail of the early lives of Moses and Jesus as babies and as children; two leaders who eventually upended their respective societies. Throughout history these stories have inspired hope that the next generation will bring positive change to our lives; even change that we don’t know we need.
Shortly after the near-collapse of our economy last year, a friend who is a parent asked me: “Isn’t it scary raising a child today with all of the world’s problems, not knowing if the future will be positive?” After thinking about what he said, I have confidently decided that no, it is not scary. I have faith that my son and those of his generation will solve the problems of the today because they are not weighed down by our biases and our fears. The future is not captive to our wrongs and our mistakes, but it is free to fly to the endless heights that this youngest generation can lift it to.
The wolf shall live with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the kid, the calf and the lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them.

Mommy:
Jonathan and I would like to thank you all for being here with us today to mark the occasion of Benjamin’s 1st birthday.
Because we did not have a bris or baptism for Ben, this day is quite important to us, and we feel that we’ve hit a huge milestone as a family. We are honored that you took time out of your busy lives to pause and celebrate with us. We feel that our Benjamin is worth celebrating.
To say that it has been an amazing year is an understatement. It has been an amazing, exhausting and exhilarating year. To be responsible for a child, a human life, is an awe inspiring responsibility. To have a partner such as Jonathan with whom to walk this road is truly my greatest fortune.
We would be remiss to gather you all here today and not mention the four people without whom we would not be here today (literally)—our parents, Ronna, Les, Carole and Phos.
They have helped us and supported us and loved us, unconditionally and intensely through the last year.
Every new family should be so lucky to have the support of four grandparents close by to bring food, change diapers, to listen, encourage and gently guide.
Obviously they did a fantastic job with their own children, if I do say so myself, and we could not be luckier to have these four amazing parents in our lives for us and for Ben.
A million thanks are not enough to adequately express our deep gratitude. We will do our best to raise our son using the morals and tenets that you have taught us.
We cherish the relationship you are building with our son and soon he will realize just how amazingly lucky he is to have you.

Ben's 1st Birthday Party

2009-12-28T19:53:00.008-06:00

On the 19th we celebrated Ben's 1st birthday with family and close friends--60 of them, to be exact.

We hosted the gang at Jonathan's church, as we couldn't have accommodated everyone (and fed them) in our house. I was anxious to see how Ben would do, as the party was schedule for during part of his typical nap time, and he hasn't been a huge fan of large crowds in the past.

Our big boy rose to the occassion and seemed to enjoy himself...I'll let the pictures tell the rest of the tale.

Such a lovely celebration for a lovely little dude!

Month by month

2009-12-21T08:46:00.014-06:00

Happy 1st birthday, Benjamin!

2009-12-18T08:07:00.004-06:00

Dear Ben,

I have been thinking about this day for a long while—364 days, to be exact. What will you look like at one year old? What will your personality be like? What will you be eating? Will you be sleeping through the night?
All of the hopes and dreams for our first year together have been superseded. You have made me happier than I have ever imagined. Although there have been some challenging times, the good times are what stick out most when I reflect on this last year.

Let’s hit the details first:
What will you look like? You are just adorable. Some people say you look like me, some say you look like Daddy. Regardless, you have the most sparkly smile and twinkly eyes. You have one dimple on your right cheek and your hair has a neat swirly pattern at the top. Your eyes seem to have settled into a light brown, although in the light I can still see some hazel tones. You have four teeth in fully and two coming in. You like to bite and flip your tongue over in your mouth.
What will your personality be like? I used to think you were a shy boy, and occasionally that still holds true. Mostly, I think you just like to feel out a situation before you get comfy and settle in. You love playing at Grammy and Pops’ house and adore when Grandma and Grandpa come over for a visit. You feel very comfortable in the homes of our friends in playgroup and seem to be totally relaxed and happy with their moms, too. Your demeanor is generally pleasant, except when being changed or getting buckled into the car seat. Then you are sure to let us know that you are not happy. Diaper changes are more like WWE matches these days. I will not be sad to see this phase pass!
What will you be eating? Anything. And. Everything. You are a fantastic eater. Boy I hope it sticks! You have preferences (avocado, cottage cheese, blueberries, bananas) but will eat just about anything we put on your tray. We are switching you from formula to whole milk and it feels like a big milestone to me. Not sure when we’re going to stop using bottles—at least in the morning and before bed. No rush, I guess.
Will you be sleeping through the night? Mostly. You still go to bed around 6:30 and I hear you cry out during the night about 50% of the time. It’s rare that I have to go in and soothe you, fortunately, and the crying usually only lasts for a minute or two. Breaks my heart though. You still take two naps and you really do need them. On days when you skip one of your naps, your behavior is, shall we say, unpleasant. Schedules are a good thing for us.

You have grown into such a good boy—so smart, so interested in life and what’s going on around you, so yummy—and I am very interested to see what next year brings.
My life before you is a little blurry, as if my mind wants to hold on to all of the memories we are creating together, at the expense of other things in my mind. You really are the center of our universe and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Happy 1st birthday, Benjamin Jay. You are loved.

One small step for Ben-kind!

2009-12-17T07:34:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, two days shy of Ben's 1st birthday, he took his first steps.
It was quite exciting--we were hosting playgroup at our home, and were celebrating Ben's birthday a little early with our little friends.
Ben was standing up, and I was holding out my hands to him, encouraging him to walk over to me. One of the moms suggested that I hold my hands up, so that he reaches up to me instead of down and voila--a few steps. It was great being able to share this moment with some of our wonderful friends and moms from the neighborhood. Sad that Daddy wasn't able to be there but Ben put on a command performance later in the evening so Daddy could see.
As one might expect, I have been unable to capture this event on film so far. But trust me, it was momentous!

Chanukah--again!

2009-12-15T13:22:00.009-06:00

Chanukah, 2009

Because of how the Jewish calendar works, this is actually Ben's second Chanukah--in one year!

Last Chanukah we were just being discharged from the hospital the day the Begoun Family had their annual party. This year we were there in full force, and enjoyed every moment! We lit the Menorah and sang the prayer. Notice the cell phone Grammy is holding...Uncle Dan was live from L.A.!
We ate latkes (Ben was, not surprisingly, a big fan).

But Ben had the most fun chasing after Roxie, the Markowitz' dog. Good thing she was a good sport--Ben really went after her! Guess we have a dog in our family's future!

Last night

2009-12-07T07:55:00.001-06:00

I walk into your room in the dark of the night, with the moonlight sneaking in through the shades
(Actually, that’s the streetlight)
The soft night sounds make for a gentle soundtrack
(Actually, the city is quite noisy but no sirens, at least!)
I can make out the outline of your peacefully slumbering body
(Actually, you are thrashing around a bit, trying to get comfortable)
You have such a serene expression on your sleeping face
(Actually, you keep rolling into the side of your crib and bonking your head, bringing a grimace to your grill)
I gently lift you out of harms way, into the middle of your comfy crib
(Actually, I’m kind of short and you are at the furthest point away from me in your crib, making my lift more of a hoist—there might have even been some grunting)
You settle back into sleep, and sigh contentedly
(Actually, there is some stretching and your eyes flutter open…pleasedontwakeup pleasedontwakeup!)
I rub your back and your soft head and feel my heart fill with love and happiness
(Actually, that much is true)

The day to day

2009-12-03T13:55:00.000-06:00

A typical day ‘round these parts

Baby wakes up
Baby eats breakfast
Baby gets dressed
Baby plays
Baby gets tired
Baby naps (Mama gets ready, does various things around the house)
Baby wakes
Baby eats a snack
Baby (and Mama) go do something fun
Baby eats lunch
Baby plays
Baby naps (Mama preps dinner, does MORE things around the house)
Baby (and Mama) do an errand or do something fun outside of the house, ideally
Baby eats a snack
Baby plays
Baby eats dinner*
Baby sleeps

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

*I feel as though I am always either prepping a meal, feeding, or cleaning up from a meal for Mr. Cheeks. At least he’s a good eater!

My Amazing Boy

2009-11-28T20:59:00.003-06:00

Sometimes, nay frequently, I can't believe he's my kid.

Takes my breath away.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-27T09:26:00.005-06:00

Ben's first Thanksgiving was a success, which was not a surprise, as one of Ben's favorite passtimes is eating! We hosted Grandma and Grandpa (Rivera), Pops and Grammy (Jacobson) and the Lerners.

We tried to get a nice family picture but Ben seems to have developed a new hobby, which does not make for very classy photographs.

*Note the position of Ben's finger.Ben enjoyed all of the same foods that we did: turkey, sweet potatoes, stuffing, cranberries, and even a little pumpkin pie for dessert.

A great time was had by all.

11 Months

2009-11-18T08:50:00.005-06:00

Dear Benjamin Jay,
Today you are 11 months old and you are already such a boy. I mean, sure, you were a boy when you were born—before, in fact. But now you are REALLY a boy—a sticky sweet, hot headed, boogery boy.
You like to open and close doors and cabinet drawers.
You like to crawl around in the dirt.
You try to put everything in your mouth.
You grab at faces and stick your fingers in mouths other than your own.
You scream and shout and cackle.
You shake your arms when you get frustrated.
You shove food in your mouth with no regard for quantity.
But.

You are sweet and adoring and intelligent.
You love to play and learn and watch.
You take such interest in children and animals.
You do not let the world pass you by but you observe, quietly and reservedly.
You enjoy the art of a good conversation, mostly with yourself so far.
Your gray/brown/hazel eyes sparkle in the light and are, indeed, a window into your soul.

And.

I always want to remember how at this very time in your life, your much adored left thumb is cracked and wrinkled from its important use. I want to remember how blissful you look when your fingers rub the satiny lining on your favorite stuffed bunny blanket as I lay you in your crib to sleep. And all I hear on the monitor is the quiet clicking of your little mouth sucking that cracked thumb. How peaceful you make my heart.

This has been another incredible month, full of new and breathtaking milestones.
You are now clapping. You have two new words (duck, pop). You can walk along the edge of furniture and by holding on to the windowsills. You can walk behind a push toy. We all survived your bout with croup.
Just when I feel as though each day is looking like the last, I pause, and look back from whence we came, and take a deep breath, and look forward to tomorrow.

Thank you for helping me do that, day after day and month after month.

Love,
Mama

SAHM

2009-11-09T20:21:00.001-06:00

I have officially been a Stay At Home Mom now for about 5 weeks. I find that when in public, I can barely even utter the phrase without qualifying it (“Oh, I’m staying home with Ben now but will be going back to work at some point.”) It has been an interesting experience so far, to be sure. I understand how truly lucky I am to be in a situation that allows for me to be at home, instead of at work. I feel tremendously lucky and privileged to be able to do this.

This time is made even more bittersweet with the knowledge that I will return to work again someday, maybe soon, maybe not so soon—and will leave my boy in the care of someone else. And then I’m sure I will pine for these days.

And yet…some days are hard. I won’t lie—it’s not all sparkles and moonbeams around here. Sick days are the worst, both mine and his. It’s 100% harder to parent when sick and it’s equally challenging and exhausting to parent a sick child.

Then there are the days when sickness or weather issues come up and we are stuck inside. Now that Ben is (extremely) active and mobile, we can tear up the house pretty quickly. It’s truly better for both of us if we have, ideally, a morning and an afternoon activity.
Ben appreciates getting out, too. He adores being around other children (other adults he can take or leave) and I enjoy seeing him interact and try and figure out this social world. Then the magic hour arrives and Daddy comes home. To see Ben’s eyes light up at the very sight of Jonathan is a gift that I just can’t get enough of.

And yet…some days fly by, others drag.
Some moments are so precious you want to repeat them over and over, and there are some episodes that do not bear repeating.
Some days are fresh and full of new milestones; others feel like days gone by.

Parenthood is certainly about riding the ebbs and flows and staying at home is no exception.

Please do not misunderstand this—I love my son and am so, so lucky to be able to be here with him to see all of the amazing things he is doing. Plenty of parents out there would give anything to be in my shoes, it’s just some days I feel like I’m wearing them on the wrong feet!

Halloween

2009-11-02T20:19:00.005-06:00

Ben's 1st Halloween was a fun one!

We started with a party with our friends from playgroup.

Ben was a pumpkin (courtesy of Auntie Beth, who made him this adorable hat).At the local neighborhood festival, Ben was a panda (courtesy of our downstairs neighbors, who had this costume in their stash).

Good thing the costume was so warm. It was quite chilly outside!

Fall

2009-10-26T07:27:00.006-05:00

Last week, during our spell of amazing fall weather, Ben and I spent an enjoyable afternoon experiencing nature (i.e. trying to put all sorts of flora in our mouths--and by "we" I mean Ben!) in front of our house.

Let's hope we can eek in a few more of these wonderful days before winter hits.

I'll never...

2009-10-21T13:50:00.002-05:00

Before I was a parent, I had notions of what I would and wouldn't do when I had my own child.
Of course, now that I am a proud parent, I laugh at many of the "I'll never" statements that slipped out of my mouth. I predict that this will be an ongoing blog entry, since new examples of this come to me (too) frequently.

I'll never:
Let my baby sleep in the bed with us.
Sure, I'll never let Ben sleep in the bed with us, if I don't intend on getting any amount of decent sleep, ever! When he was a newborn, I would tuck him in right in the crook of my arm and he was much more likely to get a few solid hours in. This was a lifesaver during our first few weeks. This was also when I learned that he has a very hot head! I would never dream of doing this now, as Ben would surely worm himself off the edge of the bed in seconds.
Feed my child formula.
Ah, the best laid plans...I never thought I would have trouble with breastfeeding and while I didn't have terrible feelings about giving him formula, I certainly never thought we were going to have to. Sigh. We did have terrible trouble nursing and although I pumped for 5 months and had a frozen supply to last another month, Young Master Rivera has been formula-fed ever since. Funny story: I never really understood why we couldn't get breastfeeding to work but knew that Ben really didn't ever open his mouth wide enough to get a good latch. I was recently holding a 6 week old baby to whom I was trying to feed a bottle and boy, she opened her mouth so wide I could have put my whole hand in there! No wonder breastfeeding never worked--Ben would hardly open that stinking mouth! Sheesh!
Let my child hang out with a boogery nose.
Sometimes the amount of screaming that comes from this child when I try to wipe his nose just isn't something I want to hear. So, he is occasionally crusty. Surely I will wipe any actual running I can catch but the crusties will sometimes just have to live there until he gets a good face wiping after a meal. He hates that, too, by the way.
Eat with dirty hands.
See above. Ditto on the screaming while the hands are being wiped.

So, that's the first installment. I will (sheepishly) be adding to this, I'm sure!

10 Months

2009-10-18T15:20:00.003-05:00

Dear Ben,

You are now ten months old. We shall not speak of how quickly this time has been passing. No we shall not. But if you could slow things down just a tiny bit, it would be greatly appreciated.

I think this month should be called The Month of Games. Your little brain (or big brain if your head size is any indication) has matured enough to understand the concept of purposeful play and you have created several games.

For posterity:

Up down up down: this game is played standing up (you, not me). You will squat down or bend your legs and look at me expectantly and I’ll say, “down.” Then you straighten up and I say, “up.” This continues until you grow bored or fall over, whichever comes first. You get a huge kick out of this game.
Hit mommy in the face with a piece of foam: The play room floor is lined with foam alphabet tiles and each of the outside tiles has a border piece that you love to pull off and carry around. Occasionally you will try to bop me on the head with the piece that you are carrying and I will faux-scream, “No no no!” while moving my head and hands back and forth. You will stop and smile and laugh at me and then start again. I hope this doesn’t mean that you like to beat other people up. I guess I’ll let this game continue until you get bigger and stronger than I. Then I might really be yelling for you to stop.
Pull the cloth diaper off of your face: this is a simple, but still very fun game. One of us throws a cloth diaper over your head and you grab it off. Whichever adult has initiated this yells, “Where’s Ben? There he is!” Up until about 2 weeks ago you couldn’t figure out how to get the diaper off of your face. This concerned me on many levels. Fortunately, you seem to have figured it all out. Good boy.
Dance dance dance: a simple game and the newest in your repertoire. Even if there is no music, I will say “dance dance dance” and occasionally you will gently bounce up and down. Adorable.

You also have started saying a few basic sort-of-words including: more (which sounds like mma, mma), kitty (which sounds like tee tee—often said in a whisper), and hi (sounds more like haaaaaaai, and I don’t think this is purposeful but we’ll still count it).

Your top teeth have mercifully broken through, bringing your grand teeth total to four. I am not looking forward to the rest of them coming in and I bet you aren’t either.

This month you developed croup, and while it was never extremely serious, you were sick enough to be quite grumpy. We were all very sad when there was not much we could do to make you feel better.

We went to our first story-time, put on by a wonderful neighborhood woman at a local coffee house. You were entranced by her for about 3 minutes, then spent an additional 2 minutes looking at the many children around you before you squirmed out of Daddy’s lap and tried to steal a banana from an unsuspecting mother. Suffice it to say that you have developed clear desires and an even clearer disdain for whatever we are asking you to do, if it is anything other than what you had in mind. It will be, shall we say, interesting to see if this pattern continues as you get older. If you’re anything like your mother, I predict some challenging times ahead.

You had your last days in child care during this month and now we are home together, every day. I am so lucky to be able to spend this time with you, and I especially enjoy going into your room after your nap so see you standing in your crib, shaking the bars, cheeks rosy, with an enormous smile on your face. That is all the fuel I ever need to keep me doing the best I can for you, every day.

So, another busy month draws to a close. Every day is an adventure, even when it looks just like the day before and the day after. These are times to be treasured, even the mundane and I often remind myself of this in the deep, dark hours of the night when I’m trying to rock you back to sleep. I hope that we trust and adore each other this much for our entire lives.

I love you my good boy.

Mom

Hellooooo? Is this thing on?

2009-10-11T18:06:00.004-05:00

Yes, I have been an errant blogger, of late. You'd think since I quit my job I'd actually have more time to devote to maintaining this record of my child's life but, alas, it seems that I am too busy chasing to stop and update this old thing.

We have been enjoying our fall, watching leaves change colors as gradually as Ben's top teeth slowly progress down their slobbery path.

We celebrated both Rosh Hashanah and watched as Ben ate his way to the New Year. Missed Yom Kippur because the Begoun celebration started too late. He would have liked to eat his way through that one, too!

We welcomed a visit from friends Katie and Matt Dunlap and suffered through the family version of a stomach virus, also titled "The Family that Prays to the Porcelain God together..." you get the gist.

We are currently in the throes of a bummer of a sleep regression. The wise Internet tells me that this is very typical, and I know it won't be this way forever, but it's hard to remember that when it's as if we are having a party for several hours in the middle of the night--funny...Ben and I seem to be the only ones who got our invitations...and most of the guests seem to be crying...
So, that's where we've been. In a week Ben will be 10 months old and I will properly document this last month.
For the time being, here is our story's protagonist, doing what he does best.

A Poem

2009-09-24T20:01:00.003-05:00

Note: I am not a poet but was moved to document the thoughts that floated through my mind as I put Ben to sleep tonight.

Rocking

You lay, sprawled across my body
Your heart pressed up against mine
Wrestling yourself away from sleep
Your face, sticky sweet resting on my shoulder
Golden moonlight peeking under the door

You try to relax and cannot
You watch yourself wave and gaze up at me and smile
Rest your body, Little Boy
Play time is tomorrow

I can feel you start to relax and we rock in silence together
With only the sounds of the city buzzing in the background
The sleep train has evaded you twice already this night and you are desperate to catch it

This time you see it coming around the bend and leap
Your body feels heavy on mine
We sit together
The sound of your breathing is soft and rhythmic in my ear
The most beautiful music

I hold you just one minute more and savor this time
The treasure that is another day together

9 month stats and picture

2009-09-19T14:07:00.004-05:00

This is getting harder!

Weight: 21lbs 9oz

Height: 2ft 5in

Head circumference: 46cm

All measurements are between the 65th and 75th percentile.

9 months

2009-09-18T14:30:00.004-05:00

Dear Benjamin,

We are trying to call you by your name (as opposed to Buddy or Bud, which I find myself calling you most of the time) so that you actually turn when your teachers call you. Poor dude. We’re screwing you up already!

I’d have to say that the two biggest categories of growth over the past month are consumption and exertion. Let’s start with the former, always so much fun!

You are a total eater. You will eat just about anything we put in front of you, with the exception of some slightly undercooked corn kernels and I certainly don’t blame you for that. At school the other day they served you beets and you ate them with no problems (and had a stained red hand as proof!). You eat any old boring jarred veggie or fruit and have consumed approximately 1 ton of cheerios over the last few weeks. You gaze over at us while we’re eating and I can practically see the drool fall from your lips. Wait…I can see you drooling. Babies are so transparent!

I am waiting until your nine month appointment to figure out what other types of foods we can introduce to you but your palate is pretty impressive so far. Your newest additions have been beets, Great Uncle Billy (GUB)’s tasty veggie soup, and Grammy (Ronna)’s asparagus soup.

You also mastered crawling about two weeks ago and just started to pull up to a stand. I marvel at the rate that you are acquiring new skills. It feels like from one moment to the next, I can see your development change and improve.

Along with this new mobility does not come an appropriate level of fear, I’m sorry to say. In other words, my days went from being relaxed and enjoying playing with you or sitting next to you while you play, to something much different. I can’t even turn my eyes away from you for you will have found the single most dangerous object within a two mile radius and will be trying energetically to shove it down your throat. I suppose it’s your way of trying to keep me active and help me shed these last pregnancy pounds but sheesh. You are a kid that likes to get into stuff and you have no concept of danger. Bad combination!

Not to pin a label on you so early in life, but your daddy and I are thinking that you might grow to be a somewhat wild kid. You like to move move move and jump jump jump and grab grab grab. Nonstop. Allthetime. It must be because you are FINALLY sleeping through the night, and usually a nice 12 or so hours.

We did a lot of running around with you during your 8th month and the aquarium was a big hit. You were interested in the fish but, as has been the case for a while now, you got an equally big kick out of watching the other humans that were there. I find people watching interesting too, Buddy, but staring is only socially acceptable when you’re young, sorry to say!

Your personality continues to blossom and you are having so much fun at school with the other kiddos in your class. I walked in your classroom one day and saw you engaging in what can only be described as flirting with Rosie, an adorable 6 month old. She was sitting up and you were sitting directly in front of her and your eyes were locked. She would smile, then you would smile and bounce up and down a bit and she would giggle. It was adorable but I’m sorry to have to tell you that you are not allowed to date until you’re 30—that’s YEARS, not MONTHS, Dude, so be patient, and be sure to get her number!

You had your first fever this week and it was quite a sad affair. All of the kiddos in your classroom were felled by this pesky virus but you managed to beat it in a day. The upshot of this is that we had some nice snuggle time, which I enjoyed very much, since you are usually on the go.

You are continuing to recognize us as important people and to see you spot your Daddy walking home after a long day without him is priceless. Your whole body tenses and you practically jump out of my arms with excitement. It’s adorable and you’re adorable and we love you. That is all.

Another great month has passed and we’re looking so forward to the next.

Love,
Mama *9 month stats and pictures coming soon!

37 Weeks, 4 Days

2009-09-07T19:05:00.002-05:00

Today is a big day--mostly to me, who finds these parenting induced sentimentalities sweet.

On the day Ben was born, he had grown and developed in the womb for 37 weeks 3 days.

Today he is 37 weeks, 4 days old.

He has been out longer than he was in which is momentous to me, the carrier of this boy. For as much genetic material as I contributed, Ben is still very much his own person, and I look forward to the next 37 weeks 4 days and many more with my fine guy.

Going and Doing

2009-09-05T20:01:00.002-05:00

As Grandpa (Rivera) likes to say, we are always "going and doing." I'm sure you get what it means, we're an on-the-move type of family and like to go out and see what this city has to offer us. Actually, let me be honest. Jonathan is really the "mover" in this family, and I am happy to go along for the ride.

Now that Ben is in the picture, we constantly walk the line between "going and doing--just the right amount" and "going and doing--way too much." Today I think we crossed in to the latter category.

This morning we found ourselves and Pops (Jacobson) on a lovely boat ride around the Chicago River. Ben enjoyed himself, we enjoyed ourselves...and the mid-day nap was interrupted (nappus interruptus, to be specific) by the fog horn on our boat. What can you do? It was foggy and I didn't think slapping the ship captain upside the head and us risking a possible crash with another boat was the right way to handle this. So, the boy woke up after a 35 minute can nap. He was in good spirits, but obviously needed more sleep. Figuring that he'd catch up later, we didn't fret. After the boat ride we grabbed a quick bite to eat and hoped that I could get Ben to take another nap in his stroller. No go.

He then fell asleep in the car on the way home and figuring that I'd be able to transfer him from the car seat to the crib, I didn't fret.

Do you see where this is headed?

We got home, I schlepped my big boy up the stairs (and up and up and up--man kids are 10 times heavier when they're sleeping!) and into the crib. Pop! Up he sat with a smile that said, "Ready to play now, Mama."

Another failure of a nap. It was 3pm and bedtime was at least three hours away.

Fortunately, Ben was quite a (sleepy) champ. Some friends came over for dinner and disctracted him enough to make it to 6:15 then it was bottle and bed time. He was out like a light...for about 45 minutes, then woke up crying, then went back down, hopefully for the night. I'm exhausted just typing about it!

I could go on and on about the minutae of this sleep thing and how just when I think we have it figured out, something changes and we have to find a new strategy. Ben used to go down with no problems, just bottle then out like a little light. Now he cries for a while before drifting off. Jonathan suspects that all of the major developmental changes Ben's going through are interrupting his sleep and I agree. But how much of it is because we are cruising through his nap times, hoping that he can handle it? This doesn't happen every day, but I worry about how this is going to effect him later. Hopefully I'll look back on this time, just as I have looked back on other rough patches, and will remember to be easy on myself. Repeating my mantra, "this isn't how it's going to be forever" has been tremendously helpful, as has the glimmer in his eye when I go to retrieve Ben from his crib. It feels so good to be adored, even if it is by my own child.

Parenthood is still so much an art, rather than a science, and although I am trying to hone my craft, I still feel like I'm painting by numbers so much of the time.

Millennium Park

2009-08-25T19:36:00.006-05:00

We took our boy down to Millennium Park on Saturday to play in the fountain.

Looks like he enjoyed himself!

Milestones

2009-08-21T14:15:00.003-05:00

Apparently Ben's 8th month is going to be a big one.
Three days in and he's already hit two new milestones!

Ben's first tooth finally poked through (front lower left--yes, that's the technical name) and the right one is just under the skin.

In mobility news, our little dude has started moving forward with purpose! After a lot of back and forth, I believe we can finally officially call this motion crawling.

Pictures forthcoming when I can pick my jaw up off the floor.

8 Months!

2009-08-18T19:07:00.012-05:00

Dear Ben,

Today you are eight months old. Do you know that eight months old is a very fun age? Well, I think it’s fun to be a parent of an eight month old and I guess we’ll just have to wait until you can tell us how you feel about getting another month older.
Why is this a fun age? The response, in list form, just to shake things up a bit.

1. You can sit. I tell you, your ability to sit has opened up your world. You have both hands free to play and explore and no longer need to struggle so hard to maintain your nice posture. (Warning: I’m sure I’ll one day tell you to “Stand up straight!” For now, you’re doing it beautifully.) Plus, I can put you down and have my hands free. It’s nice to sometimes do things without a 21 pound child on one’s hip.2. You can play. Yes, you have been playing for several months now but you seem to be able to entertain yourself for a few more minutes now than before, using simple toys, which usually (read: always) go into your mouth. You like to shake your rattles, knock down towers and grab everything. 3. You share your laughter easily. Must get that from the Rivera side, that’s for sure. Sometimes all I have to do is look at you funny and you giggle. You are ticklish all over and it’s hard to resist poking you in the thighs just to see if I can get a rise out of you. The other day we were sitting in the backyard with our wonderful neighbors and you were in rare form. Our neighbor’s dog was fetching a rubber ball being thrown at her and each time she’d catch it, you would just explode with laughter. That was the first time you belly laughed and it filled my heart with happiness. That was a moment that I know I will remember forever.

4. You enjoy other people. The jury’s still out as to whether you will be an extrovert as you get older and you are still a bit slow to warm in some environments, but you can still turn on the charm. You particularly love seeing your teachers when we get to school in the morning, and will always flash them a gummy grin as we enter the room. I can almost see the light bulb above your head as you recall that these are kind, fun people.

5. You are beginning to interact with other children. At play dates or at school, you love to look at other children. Fortunately, you are very close in age to two other boys in your classroom and I can just imagine the three of you getting into some great mischief when you get older. Thank goodness all three of you are late in getting teeth, otherwise there would be a lot more crying in your classroom!

6. You seem to recognize me as an important person. I tell you, seeing you light up when I walk by your classroom during the day sure makes a gal feel ten feet tall! Fortunately, you aren’t yet in the stage where you freak out when I leave you, but you sure do seem to enjoy the whole “coming back” aspect of separation. 7. You are still flexible and open to new experiences. We do kind of drag you places sometimes (always “going and doing” as the Riveras like to say) and you seem to roll with it pretty well. I know this might not always be the case, but you are still an eager learner and take in the world with wide eyes. We should all be so lucky to be able to appreciate fresh, new experiences as you do. There are many times when I wish I could see the world through your (gray? brown? hazel?) eyes. 8. You have become very active. Your favorite new activity seems to be flopping onto your back and scooting along the floor by digging your heels into the ground. Frequently when I come to your classroom to pick you up at the end of the day, the teachers will explain that the back of your head is red because you were scooting again. They have had to rescue you from every corner of the classroom, it seems. 9. You are developing a personality, and I love it! You certainly are good at letting us know your likes and dislikes. You’ve started to do the, shall we say, interesting back arching trick when you do not want to get into your car seat, stroller or high chair. I know this will not always be so, but we still sort of think it’s cute, you exerting your will and all. I still have to pinch myself some days, you wonderful boy, and remind myself that it is really true; you are my child, flesh of my flesh. How did I get so lucky?

Thank you for another great month of teaching me how to be more patient, to live in the moment, and to try to see things from your perspective. I am an eager learner and you are the best teacher.

Love,
Mama

Food

2009-08-01T13:23:00.006-05:00

Feeding an infant might sound simple, but it's easy for a first time parent (okay, I'll be more specific--ME) to make it complicated. Bottle then solids? Solids then a bottle? How many ounces at a time? I keep telling myself that, by the looks of his ham-hock thighs, he's a pretty good eater and I should not worry about his nutrition. Most of the time, I don't, but the eating doubts still creep in every once in a while.

Ben has tried a ton of new foods over the last few weeks and seems to enjoy them all; peas, green beans, carrots, sweet potatoes, pears, peaches, plus rice and oatmeal cereal. He tried applesauce and got diaper rash that same day. Not sure if there was any correlation but we've not given it to him again. These have all been in standard, drippy, runny baby food form.

Jonathan and I have decided to start offering Ben some "real" foods in the next few weeks and while Ben and I were out at a mom's group happy hour yesterday, I got a little overzealous.

While I don't have pictorial documentation of this event, suffice it to say that Ben is a big fan of hummus! I grabbed a spear of orange pepper and used it as a spoon. It was a big hit!

Today during our lunch we sat Ben in his high chair and offered him some Cheerios. He can grab them but can't really get them in his mouth. He looked longingly at our fish tacos--sorry Dude. Not yet! I then realized that refried beans are a pretty handy baby food and mashed some on his tray. Another hit! I feel mixed about this experience, to tell you the truth. On the one hand, Ben starting to eat adult foods means that we can include him in some of our meals (yes, that's a poorly written sentence and no, I'm not going to go back and edit it!), as he often tries to grab what's on our plates. While he still gets his primary nutrition from formula, and will until he's a year old, it's nice to be able to offer him some snacks while we're eating.

On the other hand, seeing my BABY in his highchair, feeding himself beans makes my heart ache. Where did my tiny baby boy go and who is this beefy boy-looking-child that replaced him?

Tempus fugit!

7 Months!

2009-07-18T05:00:00.001-05:00

Little Boy. How did you get to be 7 months old already?

Just had a doctor’s appointment this morning to get a crusty ear checked out and it turns out you weigh 20.5 pounds. Only one and a half more pounds until you officially outgrow your infant car seat.

You have become such a boy this month. You’re gross motor skills are amazing. You can sit up very well unassisted, and will even stay on your hands and knees for longer periods of time. Maybe you will crawl after all! You like to stand on your own, just holding onto our fingers for balance. Those meaty thighs must be hiding an awful lot of muscle!

Mostly your new favorite thing to do is jump. We borrowed a jumperoo and you have such fun in that thing. You always want to be on the move! You are still having fun in child care and continue to win the hearts of your teachers. In fact, you win-over just about any adult that you see. In the elevator on the way to the doctor’s this morning you made eye contact with a lady and kept flashing her your gummy grin. She smiled back and you and you were positively giddy. Such a flirt! You proceeded to do the same thing with the office manager and nurse, and then three people at the pharmacy while waiting for a prescription to be filled. You just love looking at people and I love watching you bring happiness to people—even perfect strangers. We’re still slowly trying to add foods into your repertoire with apple sauce being the latest, although not apparently a huge favorite. In addition to your baby food, Ms. Roz at the center gave you a tray full of Cheerios to play with and you managed to get one in your mouth a few days ago. It was very hard work but you were determined—will work for food!
You love to put things in your mouth (your feet included) and someday we hope that your little teeth will make an appearance. Nothing in sight yet.
You're sleeping is still pretty hit or miss. Most nights you go to bed around 6:30 and wake up at 4:30 to eat and then go back down for another hour or so. Not too bad, when I look back at where you were just a few months ago, but I dream (hah!) of the day when you will consistently sleep 12 hours in a row. Seven to seven would be great, ‘kay?
You started your Saturday morning swim class with Pops during this month and you seem neutral about the experience so far. You are by far the youngest in the class and although you won’t remember a thing about this experience, Pops sure will. You should see the twinkling in his eyes when he sees you Ben. So if you turn out to hate swimming, you can blame me. This is a gift for Pops!

You also had your first trip to the beach last weekend and weren’t a huge fan of the waves in the lake. Hopefully next summer you’ll like it more. We also took you to the Taste of Chicago and while you couldn’t enjoy the food, you seemed to like looking at all of the many people milling around. You are quite a wonderful observer of people.

You played in the turtle pool in the backyard for the first time and got the hang of splashing pretty quickly. The water was nice and warm, in contrast to the frigid beach water, so we think that helped. You had your first bout with diaper rash during this month and you were not happy about this at all. We spent an entire day in the back sunroom having “naked time” to make sure your tushy got lots of air. Fortunately the episode was short-lived.

You continue to be a happy, smiley guy (for the most part) and take in the world through pure (and turning brown) eyes. We love watching you smile and listening to you laugh.

Happy 7 month birthday, Mr. Cheeks. We love you!

Mama

Sore Tushie Creates Community

2009-07-10T15:47:00.003-05:00

Poor little guy. Last night started Ben's first bout with diaper rash, and a nasty one at that.
I hate to see him in such pain.

I put out an all points bulletin asking for rash ending suggestions on Facebook this morning and got many great responses, some of which we are currently trying.

While having a boy with a diaper rash is not great, the outpouring of support and ideas that we were able to get quickly from friends on the internet was astonishing.

I bet parenting before the advent of the internet looked much different and was possibly filled with many more trips to the doctor. Don't misunderstand: I know that if Ben were ill or I thought I was dealing with a potentially serious illness, I wouldn't (and haven't) hesitate to bring him in for a check. But knowing I have many friends--real friends, not just internet "residents", help me out with this issue and other minor ones makes parenting a little less isolating.

Fingers crossed the Mr. Cheeks', uh, cheeks heal up real soon.

4th of July

2009-07-04T19:39:00.008-05:00

Happy 4th of July!

Yesterday we braved the crowds and brought Ben down to the Taste of Chicago. We attempted to get there right at 11 when the booths first opened but our efforts were thwarted by about 20 minutes by Metra. There were already what seemed like a billion people down there but we enjoyed ourselves nonetheless.

Today we went to the good old Evanston parade with Grammy and Pops. Even the rain and very loud sirens couldn't stop us from having a good time, and a nap! Then we finished off the day with dinner at Grandma and Grandpa's house, celebrating Grandma's 65th birthday. Grandpa sure can make Ben laugh!
We are so lucky to live close to both of Ben's sets of grandparents.

Father's Day/6 month appointment

2009-06-29T14:21:00.007-05:00

Ooh boy. I am behind in my posting! Just a quick catch-up...

We celebrated Father's Day (Fathers' Day?) at the Jacobsons' house with all four grandparents and, of course, Daddy!

We had a wonderful brunch and I snapped this awesome picture of the men/boy, minus Uncle Dan.

Ben also had his 6 month appointment today (a bit late due to shots having to be given at certain intervals).

He's 2'3'' tall and weighs 19lbs 6.6oz (85th percentile). We were actually in the office closer to Ben's actual 6 month birthday due to a mysterious rash (turned out to be a virus) and his true 6 month weight was 18lbs 9oz.

Speaking of 6 month birthdays, during our Father's Day brunch, Grammy made our boy a very special half birthday cake and we sang a quick and melodious rendition of happy birthday.

For my records, Ben is currently eating: rice cereal, oatmeal, avocado, peas, carrots and bananas, with avocado being the clear favorite. Next, sweet potatoes!

Swim class

2009-06-22T09:34:00.005-05:00

Pops and Ben are doing a tot swim class at the Evanston YMCA on Saturday mornings and the first class was this past weekend. Pops (my dad) took me to my first set of swimming classes at the Leaning Tower Y when I was a wee lass...so it's fitting that he gets to introduce Ben to the water, too.

Ben and Pops had a chance to get their feet wet (ugh) in the pool before the class started, which suited Ben just fine.

As soon as the crowd of kids appeared, he tensed up a bit but we would still consider the experience a success.

Ben was the youngest in the class by about six months--and Pops was the oldest life preserver by, ahem, slightly more than six months!

We'll see if we can turn this one into an Olympic swimmer!

6 Months!

2009-06-17T18:30:00.008-05:00

Dear Ben,
Tomorrow you are a whole half year old—six months! I'm posting on the eve of the actual day because we have to be up very early tomorrow in order to get to work/school on time.

Before I get nostalgic for a few paragraphs, let’s hit the basics of you:
Note: haven’t yet had your six month pediatrician appointment but my money’s on 90th percentile for weight. Bets, anyone? (Addition: had a sick visit to the pediatrician (had a rash) on Tuesday and you weigh…18lbs 9.9oz. Porker.)

Eating
So far you have enjoyed rice cereal, oatmeal, avocado and we tried peas this morning but didn’t grind the skins enough and you gagged. Sorry about that. We’ll do jarred peas until you get some teeth.
You eat with gusto and it only took about a week of me jamming rice cereal into your barely opened mouth before you figured out the process. Seems like a relatively minor skill, but still you remind us just how exciting these little accomplishments can be.

Sleeping
You are an okay sleeper. You are a thrasher, always moving around, keeping an ear open for something exciting going on—you never want to miss the fun!
Fortunately, you are having more and more nights of uninterrupted sleep. About once ever three nights you will sleep straight through from about 6:15ish until 6ish. Not too shabby.
Soon we’ll try to keep you up a bit later so you can sit at the dinner table with us, and so you can sleep a little later in the morning. But don’t worry, we’re not going to mess with your schedule just yet.
You are mostly a tummy sleeper (which is okay now according to Dr. Robinson) but we will find you on your side some nights, sucking away on whatever thumb happens to be closest to your mouth. Mommy enjoys hearing your suck-suck-suck noises on the monitor.
Pooping
Aside from having some trouble digesting your oatmeal, you are an accomplished pooper. Let’s just say I do look forward to toilet training you. You can thank me later for not including a picture of this!

Temperament
You are still teething quite a bit (although I have yet to see any actual teeth popping out) and it makes you sad. Fortunately you are still showing us your easy going, good natured manner more often than not.
Most mornings you wake up with a cry but settle down right away and flash that gummy grin.

School
You are going to school three days a week and aside from the permanent nasal congestion you seem to have picked up there, I’d say the place suits you just fine. You have three wonderful teachers and are very well stimulated. We hear that you don’t really like bubbles, though, and you proved this by flinching as I was opening the bubbles container—also proving that you have developed some memory.

Sappy Stuff
Ben, you are a great little boy. You are interested in the things and people (and cats) that happen into your life and your very presence brings out the best in others. We are constantly being told just how cute you are (which we already know) and how well behaved you are (which we also already know). Those things are so nice to hear—but what’s most important to us is that you are happy. And most of the time you are, which means we are too.

Love love love love love love you.

Mama

Birth

2009-06-03T13:26:00.001-05:00

I’m not actually sure why I haven’t written this sooner. I guess the experience needed to settle a bit before I was ready to put "pen to paper." I know details have been lost in my mind but here's the gist of the story.

Chapter 1: Ready or not

Evening of Tuesday, December 16th

There had been a huge snow storm and choir was cancelled. I celebrated by going to bed early—around 9. I was exhausted, for some reason, and although 9pm was a very early bedtime for me even in the late stages of pregnancy, I felt that I needed to hit the sack.
Jonathan followed at the more socially acceptable time of 10:30.

At 11pm I woke up suddenly and something in my body told me to get up out of bed immediately. I did, and felt warm fluid rolling down my legs. I wondered if my water had broken or if I had lost bladder control, which I had always imagined was a real possibility for extremely pregnant women. I waddled to the bathroom and determined that I was not, in fact, incontinent. Then it occurred to me: I was just 37 weeks, 2 days. Was it too early to have this baby healthily? Would he be big enough?

The thought was fleeting as I had to figure out how to wake my husband and alert him to our impending parenthood.

I grabbed Jonathan’s bath towel and held it between my legs as I shuffled back into the dark bedroom.

“Uh, honey?”
“Huh?” says a sleepy Jonathan.
“I think my water just broke.”

I have never seen this guy wake up so fast as I did that night. Together we assessed the situation and I called the on-call doctor to discuss what to do. I remember saying, “Sorry to bother you but either my water just broke or I have lost bladder control.” The doc advised us to come in and get checked out.

Although we had 4 hours to get ready and come in, the snow made us a little leery so we showered, did some last minute straightening up and headed in.

I had never expected this to start in this way. I was hoping to be a little early but was figuring I’d be late, just like most first time moms. But here we were, on our way to the hospital. Couldn’t believe it. Already my birth experience was different than I’d imagined.Now don’t get me wrong. Dr. Hoprasart and I had talked about my birth plan and my only real goal was a healthy mom and a healthy baby. I tried hard not to lock myself into any expectations, for fear that I’d be spending my labor energy being disappointed when there were many more productive uses for something so precious.

Chapter 2: The Wait

I had frequently played out the drive to the hospital in my mind. I predicted that my contractions were going to be 5 minutes apart and that I would have had at least 3 in the car. We had picked our route based not only on speed but also on potholes, as Chicago/Evanston was riddled with them thanks to the brutal winter plowing.

As we headed out I realized that what I had imagined this part of our journey to be like was way off—already the second of many times this would happen to us over the next 30+ hours.

The drive to the hospital took about12 minutes (helps to be on the roads at 1am). We were calm, I experienced no major contractions to speak of, and we didn’t need to pull over. The nursing staff were expecting us and ushered us into our Labor and Delivery room.

Wednesday, December 17

I changed into a gown and when asked, reported that I was having some discomfort that I thought were contractions. Oh boy was I wrong.

I was eager to get checked and see if my body had made any progress but the only thing that would get checked at this point was my amniotic sac, which was deemed to indeed be ruptured. Hooray! I wasn’t incontinent!

Since I wasn’t having contractions, I was given 1.5 hours to walk around to try to get things going naturally. I asked the doctor on call (not my OB) how many hours they’d allow me to go since my water had broken and it was reported that as long as the baby was tolerating labor well and I didn’t get a fever, there was really no specific time line to be followed. Great!

Our admitting nurse checked my blood pressure and realized it was quite high. Preeclampsia became an immediate concern and a urine sample was obtained using a straight catheter (not fun) to determine if there was protein in my urine. Fortunately this was not the case and I was allowed my full hour and a half walk around the quiet Women’s Hospital lobby.

We walked and walked and walked in slow circles around the fountain, stopping to grab sips of water and marvel at what was to come. We laughed at the security guard who had undoubtedly seen many couples walk these steps before us. We felt very in control and calm.

Although our walk bolstered our spirits, it really didn’t do anything for my labor. I thought I felt uncomfortable every now and then but when we got back to the room and got hooked up to the contraction monitor, it was determined that I wasn’t really having much in the way of productive contractions at all. Sigh.

Pitocin was started and I was now bound to the room, on continuous monitoring.

Contractions started to pick up and Jonathan helped by reading the print-out from the contraction seismometer, as we called it, and I was able to manage the contractions just fine. Only problem: as soon as I’d establish a pattern of good, strong contractions, they’d peter out. After several increases in the pitocin level, I figured it was time for an epidural.

It had been 8 hours. There had been a nursing shift change. Life was being lived all around us and we were in a time warp. Finally it was determined that it was time for a cervix check, and I was thrilled, as this was the only real way to measure all this good work I’d been doing through these tough contractions. I was sure I’d be at 6 or 7 and that the next few centimeters would fly by after I got my epidural and was able to sleep.

The verdict: two. Two measly centimeters dilated and 50% effaced. The resident who checked me looked sad—must have been a reflection of what she saw on my face although I was working hard not to be too disappointed. She guessed that my cervix was still “high and tight” when I went in to labor and that my water broke without my body really being ready to progress.

Third time my expectations were sorely off. But, after processing with Jonathan, I decided that the epidural was still in order.

Chapter 3: Blessed Anesthesia

At some point in the early morning our parents were called, as were our respective bosses. My parents requested to come over for a quick visit, as my mother was scheduled to have an incision check at her surgeon’s office across the street from the hospital. I allowed them to come in but asked that the visit would be short. I didn’t really feel like entertaining and they completely understood. Their visit indeed short and sweet—nothing like the sight of your daughter swaying around on a birthing ball, deep in the throes of multiple contractions to send one willingly out the door.

I always knew I wasn’t one of those types that had a strong desire to give birth without the help of drugs. I didn’t want a ton of medical interventions, but having already been started on pitocin didn’t bode well for steering clear of those.

Our wonderful nurse talked to me about the epidural and what I’d need to do. Sit still sit still sit still was basically what I heard her say. Check. I can do it. She also gave me a quiet warning: the anesthesiologist on call is the best in the hospital but he’s a little…quirky. Turned out to be the understatement of the century.

Before long, in walks the bright eyed (always a good sign) anesthesiologist who looked to have a steady hand and an enthusiasm for his work. Okay. I won’t lie—I didn’t care if the guy was half asleep and had just rolled in from a night of partying. As long as he could stick a needle in my back and make the pain subside, I’d practically marry the guy. Just stick the needle in, Man, I remember thinking.

After giving my consent (side note: Doctors, please do not expect coherent answers to questions asked of heavily laboring women who are forced to sit still through major contractions—the nurse had to keep telling the doc that I couldn’t answered as I was in the middle of a contraction), the doctor had Jonathan sit down and the procedure was started. After a few minutes I felt the coldness seep into my abdomen and legs and then…my legs turned to tree trunks. I was not prepared for this feeling and it momentarily threw me off—any attempt to move my legs using my mind alone would prove a huge challenge but I got into a comfortable position and dozed off.

Hours passed. It was all of a sudden Thursday, December 18th . Nurses and residents come in and ask how I’m doing. We look at the contraction monitor and were hopeful. Lots of seismic activity. It is determined that the pitocin needs to be turned up again and I am starting to feel the contractions through the epidural. I was actually happy about this because I figured progress was being made.

At one point our lovely nurse (#3) came in with a smile and asked if I was feeling pressure. “I don’t know,” I answered. “Maybe, yes?” She was enthusiastic as this could mean real progress.

And then things changed. Several times over the next hour or so the team of nurses would rush into the room and demand that I change positions. The baby’s heart rate was decelerating, and they wanted to make sure the cord wasn’t compressed.
I started to think this wasn’t so fun and exciting anymore and that I’d really like to get the ball rolling.

Soon after, the next on-call doctor came in (still not my OB) and we talked realistically about my progress. They were going to check me and if I hadn’t made significant progress, the baby would have to be delivered via cesarean section. I look at the clock and realize that it’s 5am. I have been laboring for over 30 hours. I still have no baby and by golly, I am very curious to meet the little fellow that is causing all this commotion.
I am checked and determined to be a measly 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced. Surgery it is.

Jonathan and I take a few minutes to process. We think back over the last many hours and can’t think of anything else we’d have done differently. I am not sad at this point but more excited than ever because finally, something was going to happen. We pack up our room and Jonathan gets whisked away to gown up for surgery.

Chapter 4: Surgery
The necessary preparations are made and I am hauled onto a gurney and wheeled into the operating room. The doctor on-call, (STILL not my OB) is kind and things happen very quickly.
Jonathan sits by my head and surgery starts. Not 10 minutes later, a cry is heard. It is 6:11am. I am asked what the baby’s name is and nobody can hear me through my tears. Jonathan says proudly “Benjamin Jay,” and it is at that moment that I see him, fleetingly, over the curtain. He is handed to the neo-natal team and is given a hearty rub down and some deep suction. His apgars are 9/9, which is great. He is 7lbs. 3oz—big for his gestational age, and 20.75 inches. He is handed to Jonathan who promptly holds him down where I can see and I promptly...throw up. I promise it’s not a reflection of how I felt about our child but I’m told that when one’s organs are being shifted around in one’s mid-section, this was not an uncommon occurrence. I’ll never forget the picture of Jonathan holding Ben in one arm and an emesis basin in the other for me. Ah, marriage.

I’m closed up (Jonathan tells me that the doctors are talking about restaurants during this part of the surgery—not sure how to feel about that!) and Jonathan and Ben headed to the nursery while I go to recovery.

Ben needed a little extra time in the nursery to warm up after his bath and we were finally reunited in the room that was to house our new family for the next three days. As the snow came down and the temperatures plummeted, we got to know each other and started the bonding process.

After 5 and a half months with Ben, we are still getting to know each other and I still marvel at the journey that we had as he made his entrance into the world. Throughout the entire experience, I always felt calm and in control. Jonathan was at his very best and did exactly what was needed. We fully trusted our fantastic team of doctors and nurses (an aside, my OB was finally able to get the hospital minutes after I came out of surgery and we had a comical discussion about my next labor at my recovery bedside) and although there were multiple twists and turns that weren’t planned for, ultimately I got what I wanted: a healthy mama and a healthy baby.

Turns out there’s a lesson in all of this. Hard to see when you’re in the moment but it came to me clearly in the depths of a late night feeding session weeks after Ben’s birth: flexibility leads to better parenting and a happier life. A good lesson for a scheduler and planner, like myself.

Almost six months later, I am now happy to refer to myself as a “recovering Type A person.” I have Benjamin Jay to thank for that.

Welcome to the world and to our family, Mr. Cheeks.

It's been a while...

2009-05-27T18:14:00.005-05:00

Sorry, Fair Readers, about my lack of updates lately. Been busy with life, adjusting to school/work, and holidays. No matter how hard I try to get the world to slow down, the sun always goes down faster than I'd like. Guess that's life.

Meanwhile, our boy keeps getting cuter and bigger (!) and is doing all sorts of neat things.

Today, in fact, he really mastered the tummy to back roll, which hopefully means that he won't wake up furious when he flips over in his crib at night. I keep telling him that if he didn't want to be on his belly, he should stop turning over onto it in the first place but he just won't listen.

Infants. They're so, well, infantile.

He now eats rice cereal with enthusiasm and eagerly opens his mouth in anticipation. Little does he know what gastric delights await his palate in a few short months... Squash! Beans! Peas! His little world will be rocked.

Aside from that, Ben had his first swing experience with our neighbor Uma at Touhy Park on a cold Memorial Day. You can't tell from this picture, but he enjoyed himself.

Okay. Back to reality, wherein I hope to get a few more things done before this day slips away from us, just like all the others.

5 Months

2009-05-18T21:10:00.016-05:00

Dear Little (Big) Boy,
Did I miss something? Has it really been 5 whole months since you arrived on this planet? The calendar says so, so it must be true.
This has been an exciting month for you—and for our little family, too.

So I'm 5 months old. Tell everyone to stop looking at me.

You started “school” and I went back to work. I won’t say it was the easiest thing either of us has ever done, but I am confident that we are both going to be okay—better than okay, actually. I find myself wondering what you are doing at any given moment and sometimes I can’t resist the temptation to pop downstairs and peek into your classroom. I know I can’t do this forever, but for the first few weeks I think the teachers don’t mind.

Too tired to believe I am 5 months old!

Speaking of, the teachers in your classroom are like the wisest mothers you will ever meet. I walked a fussy You into the room for the first time last week and mentioned that I thought you were reacting to the type of formula we were trying. No, the all said, you are teething.

Huh?

See the drooling?

See the gnawing on hands?

Oh.

Right.

Smash! Smash the 5 months old!

At not even 5 months old, you were teething. Not that I can see any teeth, but the process can take a long time. This, little buddy, is one of the best reasons that we put you in child care—so that Mommy can learn how to be the best parent she can be by following the lead of some pretty awesome women.

Already reading at 5 months old!

Aside from starting school and teething, we had visits from the Vegas Riveras,the Indianapolis Nowakowskis and the L.A. Riveras. People are pouring in to Chicago to meet you and you don’t disappoint. Well, maybe I was a little disappointed when you decided to empty the contents of your stomach onto my lap after church on Sunday. Look, if you don’t want to go, you can simply tell me next time! Wait...you mean I'M 5 months old? No way!

So, our new adventure has started this month and you seem up for the challenge. Hopefully your old Maw can hang with you. If you hear me sniffling as I walk away from your classroom in the morning, just keep on playing, Little Guy. I’ll see you at the end of the day.

You know? This 5 month old thing isn't so bad after all!

Can't wait to have more adventures with you.

Love,
Mama

Week One

2009-05-13T19:34:00.002-05:00

This is Ben’s first week in child care and my first week back at work. It has been an unusual week, schedule-wise, because Carole Robertson Center for Learning (CRCL) has a gradual admission process for enrolling kids so our week has thus far looked like this:

Monday: Ben and Mommy spend the morning together in his classroom
Tuesday: Ben and Mommy spend the morning together in the classroom and Daddy spends an hour with us, too
Wednesday: Ben and Mommy spend an hour together in the classroom and then Ben spends 3 hours alone in the classroom
Tomorrow: Ben’s first full day in the classroom, Mommy’s first full day in the office

The fact that Ben’s teeth have decided that now is the appropriate time to begin their arduous ascent is really what I would call BAD TIMING!

So, this has been a hard week for the lad (and for his mother, more on that later). He’s irritable, not sleeping very well or eating with much regularity and he has to adjust to different caregivers and a totally new environment. Keep in mind that CRCL is a top notch educational facility and so much more than just a child care center (yes, it’s also where I work so I am a tad biased, I confess) and he is still having trouble getting used to everything being so different. Here’s the kicker: I totally expected this, but it is still hard to see him out of his comfort zone and not showing his true sweet, calm side to all the people that are meeting him for the first time.

In my heart of hearts, I know that he will adjust beautifully. He has extraordinary teachers who have helped raise many, many children over the years and I am honored to share my son with them. I know that he will make great friends and have neat experiences. He will get colds and lice and pink eye and will be just fine. He will go on nature walks and run through sprinklers and paint and get messy. He will eat balanced meals and not so balanced meals. I am thrilled for him just thinking of all the fun that’s in store.

When I went to pick Ben up to go home for the day and caught up with his class during their rainy day inside-the-center walk, I rounded the corner and saw my boy, riding in the 6-seat buggy with five of his new friends. He was looking around, taking in the new sites and smells and it dawned on me: he is learning how to be okay without me. That thought simultaneously made my heart swell with pride, and break just a bit.

I feel as though I have just had my initiation into the illustrious Sorority of Mothers. It is an amazing privilege and an honor to be a part of this group.

Last day

2009-05-08T14:38:00.002-05:00

Time flies.
I can't believe this is the last day of my maternity leave. And let me just say how thankful I am that I was able to be off of work for almost 5 months. I absolutely cannot imagine going back any earlier than this.
I am currently spending this glorious spring day trying to get my baby boy to settle in to a nap (pretty please? with sugar on top?), as we experienced our first cat-nap-in-the-car-which-ruined-our-early-afternoon-nap scenario. Not pretty.
I start work next week. Ben has gradual admission into his child care classroom on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, then I'm back to work on Thursday. Three days a week, which is the amount I'll be going back, sounds like it will be a nice balance for both of us.
Sitting in then den in the wee hours of those cold, dark December nights, I dreamed in fast forward and saw myself happily trotting back to work. Now I feel very mixed. I truly love being a mommy, spending my days with Ben but as I've said all along, I do believe I will ultimately be a better mother to him because I will be working part time.

Sounds as if the last nap on our last leave day together has been achieved.

Sleep quickly, Mr. Cheeks, there's still so much we have to do together.

Anatomy of a Roll

2009-05-05T15:49:00.006-05:00

*Today marks the first time rolling from front to back.

Helps to have a large noggin to pull one over, methinks.

Our Jewtheran Russi-Poli-Germa-Pino Baby

2009-05-04T20:51:00.002-05:00

Yesterday morning: Filipino Family gathering, celebrating the visit of Cousin Debbie from Las Vegas
+
Yesterday afternoon: Orthodox Jewish Bat Mitzvah party, celebrating the happy occasion of Emily’s cousin David’s daughter Chana’s Bat Mitzvah
=
A multi-ethnic, multi-religious household’s Sunday plans!

Jonathan and I are keen on helping Ben understand not only his mixed ethnic background, but also his mixed religious heritage. Many people have asked us what we are going to “do” about religion in our household and the short answer is…both. Ben will celebrate the holidays in both the Jewish and Lutheran tradition, lucky boy, and will be exposed to his Filipino, Polish, German and Russian heritage.

No small feat for someone with, uh, small feet.

Comments

2009-05-01T16:23:00.003-05:00

This just in...
It has come to my attention that you have to jump through multiple hoops in order to leave comments after entries...

Thankfully, blogspot is VERY user friendly and I was just able to change the comments setting, thus making it much easier for you to leave comments.

So...comment away!

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Sleep, you elude us no more!

2009-04-30T20:05:00.003-05:00

I hereby interrupt this, uh, interruption in internet service (what did we do to anger the 2Wire Modem gods?) to bring you a big announcement…

Young Master Benjamin Jay Rivera

SLEPT

THROUGH

THE

NIGHT!

Man, did that feel good to type.

Yes, he is a two-fisted thumb-sucker, just like his mother was

I am not a superstitious person and I do understand that just because he slept from 7pm to 6am doesn’t mean that this is necessarily going to happen every night. After all, he’s only 4 months. But a mom can dream (literally), right?

For the record

2009-04-26T19:58:00.001-05:00

We have a rolling boy!

Ben rolled from his back to his stomach today for the first time, and if you don't believe me, you'll have to ask Grammy Ronna--she was the only one to witness it!

We were out to dinner when the main event happened.

Way to go Mr. Cheeks!

Florida!

2009-04-24T21:18:00.008-05:00

The mission: see if we can manage a 4 month old on a tropical “vacation”
The participants: Emily, Jonathan, Ben, Grammy (Ronna) and Pops (Les)
The location: Hollywood, Florida
The timing: just when Mommy was about to lose her mind from the nasty Chicago weather—also known as April 18th through the 21st

Jonathan was supposed to be travelling to Seattle, a place I (Emily) have always wanted to visit, for work this quarter. I felt brave and suggested that we all go—all, as in the “let’s bring the baby!” After a few days of deliberating, we decided to take the plunge. Then Jonathan’s work plans changed and he wasn’t needed in Seattle this quarter. Oh well. But Jonathan, the travel enthusiast, had the bug. He suggested that we take our travel bravery and transfer it to another location. I wanted a relaxing, beach-y type of place and we decided on Florida. After an aptly timed New York Times article extolled the virtues of Hollywood, we decided this was the place. Flight: booked. Hotel: booked. It’s a go!
Uh, but what if we BOTH wanted to frolic in the ocean together or go out for a quiet dinner? Guess those days are long gone, we thought. Unless…we called up the Jacobson grandparents and pitched our idea to them. Would they care to join us and spend oodles of quality time with their most favorite (and only) grandchild? There was hemming and hawing, to be sure, but the ultimate answer was yes! Hooray! All of a sudden it seemed exponentially easier to hatch this plan with four adults rather than two. We might actually have some fun on this trip!

The days leading up to our departure were a mix of excitement (Jonathan) and anxiety (Emily—is anyone surprised?). Gosh, a 16 pound baby sure requires a lot of stuff! We packed and unpacked, made lists and crossed items off lists until the very last second when it was off to the airport. Note: great time to fly out of Midway Airport = early on a Saturday morning. No traffic and happy airport security people.

How would Ben do on his first flight? Would his ears bother him? Would he sleep? Forget that—how would Emily do on the flight? Would she panic or would her peaceful Buddha baby son inspire her to calm down? I’m sure (insert sarcasm) Jonathan was eager to find out.

Suffice it to say both Ben and Emily were VERY well behaved on the flight, and there were no less than 15 babies under the age of 4 flying with us. No snotty business-people’s delicate ears to worry about offending. Flight went off without a hitch, although it was packed to the gills and Ben had to ride on our laps. Not too bad now but I can’t imagine doing it when he gets bigger.

After we landed, we collected our gear and rental mini-van (question: since we were just renting the van and don’t actually own one, can we escape the inevitable labeling that goes along with said van?) and headed off to find our hotel.

Wow. This is becoming long. To speed things up, here is how we spent the next few days, in pictures:

Walked (and slept) along the wonderful Broadwalk

Went for a (windy) canal cruise in Ft. Lauderdale

Spent quality time with the grandparents
Sat up in a big bed
Hung out at the beach
Got the chicken pox
Flew home

All in all, a very successful trip. It was wonderful to spend so much time with the grandparents and it was also nice to get a good airing out in such great weather after the harsh Chicago winter.

Ben was a stellar traveler, even through his illness, which is a good thing because Jonathan’s already talking about the next trip…

Can’t wait!

This just in...

2009-04-23T13:56:00.003-05:00

Post recapping our Florida trip is in the works. For now we are consumed with...

SPOTS!

Yes, The Boychick has the chicken pox. Guess he won't need that vaccine!

4 month check up

2009-04-23T13:36:00.002-05:00

Stats:
Weight: 16lbs 8oz, 79th percentile
Length: 2ft 1.5 inches, 70th percentile

No wonder my back hurts. This kid's huge!

4 Months

2009-04-22T10:19:00.007-05:00

Boy oh boy does time fly. We actually left for Florida on the day of your 4 month birthday, hence the late post (Florida post coming soon).

We had a busy month—guests, events, holidays, and all the while you continue to grow and change before our very eyes.

Your physical development has been remarkable. You are rolling onto your side and are starting to grab objects held above you. You can push up pretty well when on your stomach, although it seems you’d rather suck your hands instead of doing the hard work of lifting up that large noggin of yours. Your grasp is very strong and sometimes when we’re feeding you, you grip our fingers so hard. As you become more full, you relax and the feel of your sweet, soft hand on mind is quite welcome.
You continue to be a sweet, smiley boy, although recently you have been starting to “voice” your likes and dislikes. For instance, we had you on the floor of the dining room at Grandma and Grandpa Rivera’s house during a meal and you complained until we took you out and held you at table level—you loved being a part of the action.
You celebrated Passover and Easter and were a total hit at the Seders and at church. It’s amazing to see how people are drawn to you and you can ham it up (bad Easter pun!) just at the right times.
You have started to giggle and although it is still hard to elicit, it’s worth the work! It’s the sweetest sound and when I tickle you in your special spots (neck, sides) your eyes get as big as saucers as you wiggle around.
Your vocalizations are hilarious and you have a lot to say! You are using consonant-vowel combinations, just as you should. We have the best conversations!

You are still a big boy and fit easily into 6 month and some 9 month clothing. I predict you are will be 16 pounds by the time your 4 month doctor appointment rolls around. Speaking of rolls…you still have the meatiest thighs! You probably don’t want this leaked to the internet but they are just so delicious. I’m sure one day you’ll be tall and lean like your daddy (we hope, anyway!) but for now, I love to see all this meat on your bones.

Daddy and I had our first evening out this month and you were in great hands (thanks Grandma and Grandpa Rivera). I have continued to go to choir rehearsal every Tuesday night and although it is getting a little easier to leave you, it still feels a little unnatural to me. I’d better get used to it because we only have one more month left on our “vacation” together before I go back to work. I know it will be great for us both but it’s a little hard to imagine being away from you all day.

Playgroup, music class and walks with friends are still some of our favorite things to do together. It’s great that we live in such a family friendly neighborhood. I dream of letting you run around the beach on warm summer nights…soon enough.

I love you, my big boy. Keep up the good growth and development and Daddy and I will continue trying to do our very best to nurture you.

Love,
Mama

See, my math isn't too bad

2009-04-15T16:26:00.001-05:00

Two blowout poops + one squirmy almost four month old = unplanned mid-afternoon bath.

Enough said.

Tax day makes Ben giggle

2009-04-15T10:13:00.000-05:00

…literally, and figuratively.

Today marks the first day that I have been able to elicit true giggles from Bennie Boy. The mere act of tapping on his chin while uttering some high-pitched nonsensical word is enough for this young lad. And the sound of it absolutely makes his mother melt. Yes, you can have the car keys. And a pony. And you can stay up past your bedtime.

Today is also tax day and Ben giggled all the way to the bank this year by being born (unexpectedly) before his January 5th due date, thus helping us reap a tax return. Don’t get too excited Mr. Cheeks, the money is already in your college account.

Happy Pass-Ster

2009-04-12T16:30:00.005-05:00

Happy Holidays!
Another busy week for Mr. Cheeks. The religious calendars matched up this year and Ben got to celebrate both his first Passover and his first Easter this week.

We kicked off the celebrating with an afternoon of egg dyeing at the Koops' house. Mommy had fun dyeing eggs and Auntie Leah had fun with Ben!

Tradionally, the Begoun family (Emily’s maternal side) gets together at Cousin Marcy and Harry’s house for the seders and this year was no different—well, except for the presence of the newest member of the family.

Ben was quite well behaved and mellow, as he almost always is, but did seem a tad overwhelmed at all the noise (or maybe it's because his pants were hiked up to his arm pits!). Welcome to the family, Kid!

Today is Easter and we celebrated with Grandma and Grandpa Rivera. We made it to the 8:30 service at Trinity Lutheran Church (the Riveras' home church) where Ben slept through most of the service—remarkable because of all of the loud congregational hymns accompanied by the brass ensemble!

We then went home for a short siesta and headed back over to the Riveras for Easter lunch. Ben was lucky enough to have both sets of grandparents present, but he was a tad out of sorts from all the schlepping around today. Plus he seems to be battling his first real cold. Poor dude.

Jonathan and I feel very strongly about exposing Ben to both his Jewish and his Lutheran roots, as well as to his Russian, German, Polish and Filipino heritage. He’s a human melting pot!

Why blog?

2009-04-06T17:29:00.000-05:00

Some of you fair readers (Hello? Is this thing on? Anyone reading this thing aside from Ben’s grandparents and Liz from the good old days in Evanston—hi Liz!) might wonder why I blog, as most of what I write is very focused on Ben.

The truth of the matter is, I have only one creative gene in my body and that is used purely for my photography. Therefore, trying to make a cute baby book to document all of Ben’s milestones and big adventures would probably turn into a stressful mess. Not interested!

I look back at my baby book, with its impeccably written notes (my mother was a school teacher and has absolutely perfect handwriting), and realize that I don’t have the skill to put together something even half as nice, but documentation is still very important. Hence, The Chicago Riveras blog was, uh, born, if you will.

Someday I plan on printing this thing out and binding it--maybe I’ll do that each year. I sometimes peruse the first few entries and marvel at how big Ben has gotten. I can picture Jonathan and Ben sitting in the living room reading over the entries, laughing at how his hair used to stick straight up (Ben’s, not Jonathan’s!) or how he used to sleep swaddled. Things that seem so important now are just going to be fleeting memories in a few short weeks.

I guess, as with most baby books, I am really only documenting the “good” stuff that Ben does, probably because nobody wants to read about the long, sleepless nights or the trouble with breastfeeding. Or maybe you do, since that’s also very much the reality of raising a child.

So, Ben, this is your life, on screen, as it happens. Through the marvel of modern technology, we can share these great events with our family and friends far and near, who don’t get to see you as often as we’d all like.

*Note to Ben: thanks for sleeping from 8:30-3:30 last night. Mommy was wide awake at 1am, waiting for you, but that’s okay. Keep it up!

Busy weekend!

2009-04-05T15:02:00.006-05:00

Ben had a very busy and fun-filled weekend.
Auntie Heather was in visiting from Mason, Ohio and Ben enjoyed seeing her!

Aside from meeting Heather, Ben also had several other "firsts."

We met Daddy at work on Friday and took a very speedy elevator up to the Hancock Observatory.

The views were spectacular and The Chitownhommie showed off his Chicago knowledge by pointing out the important city landmarks. It was a perfect day to be high above the city.

Saturday we went to Lincoln Park Zoo--Ben's first time there. He was very into the fish and some of the reptiles. Other than that, he mostly slept. Someday we think he'll love it!

We are already dreaming about not only our next trip to the zoo, but also the next time we get to see Auntie Heather and her family. Hopefully we'll be able to bring Ben to Ohio in the fall. Looking forward to it already!

Playgroup=sanity saver

2009-04-02T12:54:00.002-05:00

Ever since Ben was about 5 weeks old we have been going to a twice-weekly neighborhood infant playgroup.
I was lucky enough to happen upon this group months before Ben was born, by searching the internet for things to do with babies in Rogers Park. Happily, I came upon the Rogers Park Parents Group and from there found many local playgroups, organized by parents.
The infant playgroup is Mondays and Wednesdays and the location rotates from house/condo to house/condo depending on who volunteers to host.
So far the experience has been a great one for both Ben and for me. Ben now loves to watch the older (he's one of the youngest in the group) kids roll/crawl/walk around, and I enjoy the conversation with the parents.
Some of the moms have organized with-kid and without-kid excursions, all in the name of keeping their sanity during this yucky Chicago winter.
We've hosted three times so far and it's literally as simple as throwing a sheet over our living room rug and putting some washable toys down. The kids and adults start on the rug, chatting and checking in, and will frequently break away to chase a kiddo, change a diaper, or grab a snack. There's no set discussion topic but converstations revolve around all things baby. I have asked a ton of questions and have gotten great advice so far. It's a very supportive group--
I have found this group to be indespensible as a first time parent.
I look forward to the fun adventures that this summer will bring with our playgroup buddies!

No FOOL-ing!

2009-04-01T16:58:00.007-05:00

Happy April 1st! Ben celebrated by accomplishing two major gross motor milestones...

Pardon Mommy's terrible photographs. The Model doesn't yet understand backlighting!

Notice the hands never leave the mouth...guess he just needed to learn to heave his large thighs around in order to get on to his side.

Didn't flip all the way over today but I predict full rolling can't be too far away.

Oh yeah--Ben also did this today for the first time...

Looking a little perplexed.

Notice Eddy decided to come and check out the action.

All in all, a great day for Mr. Cheeks. We also hosted playgroup today (more on that in another post) and had a great group of kids and parents.

Ben meets Mayor Daley!

2009-03-28T16:01:00.005-05:00

We trekked to the grand opening of the newly renovated Howard El Station this morning in hopes of introducing our fine son to the Mayor--score!

Yes, that's Ben in the stroller! It was too cold to take him out...plus I'm not sure Mayor Daley was in a "kissing babies" kind of mood. He's not up for re-election for some time, after all!

Daddy is a saint

2009-03-26T14:36:00.003-05:00

I always knew I'd hit the jackpot when I married Jonathan. This fact was cemented, yet again, by his willingness to sleep with Ben in the den all night last night so I could get a full night's sleep, as I had come down with some weird cold-type-thingie and was feeling terrible.

Ben rewarded his Daddy by only getting up to eat once last night, and I got a solid 8 hours of sleep. How many new moms can say that?

Boy vs Cat

2009-03-23T14:42:00.007-05:00

Fair readers (or reader, more like), the pictures you are about to see may be worrisome. Fear not, no babies or cats were harmed creating of this blog post!

Cue music: Theme to Wild America

Cue baby: Benjamin Jay (Human Child)

Cue location: Floor or aforementioned baby's room

Cue animal: RV Jacobson (Wild Beast)

Scene: A rare interaction between Human and Beast, caught on "film"

Wild Beast approaches Human child.

Wild Beast pets self using Human Child's hand.

Wild Beast rubs head against Human Child, marking him.

Wild Beast has exhausted himself and finds a soft pillow for his siesta.

As long as Human Child continues to act like a pillow, this will certainly be a great relationship!

Three months

2009-03-18T18:44:00.002-05:00

Dear sweet boy,
You are three whole months old today and have officially left your “forth trimester.” Get ready to be put to work—you’re a man now! Just kidding. Your daddy and I have been working hard to guard the first few months of your life, helping you (to the best of our ability) feel as much like you did when you were in utero as possible. We spent many an hour swaddling, shushing and rocking you. We hope that your transition into the world was a nice, gradual one.
You are still a happy boy and are smiling frequently. Your happiest times are still on the changing table, where the soft comfort of the changing pad allows your limbs to relax (from their near constant flailing) so you can concentrate on cooing and smiling. You even laughed—sounded mighty similar to Cousin Stuart’s distinctive inhaling laugh, but we’ll take it!
You seem to have leveled off, growth-wise and are comfortably fitting into your 3-6 month clothes. Your cheeks still take the cake (ooohhh, wouldn’t you like some cake?!) in terms of your most chubby feature, but your porky thighs are a close second.
Your sleeping has improved slightly and you tend to do a longer (4-5 hour) stretch followed by a shorter (3-4) hour stretch and are usually up for the day between 6-7:30. Then you’re right back down for your first nap about one hour later. Good timing so Mommy can shower and pump. We put you in your crib awake and you stare at your mobile until you slip off into dreamland. What a good boy!
You are thoroughly enjoying sucking on your hands, a new skill that started about 10 days ago. Mostly you suck on as much of your left hand as you can fit in your mouth but occasionally you’ll get a single finger in there and go to town. We wonder if this will stick. Maybe because of the hand sucking…you got your first cold this month. Fortunately it wasn’t a bad one and you handled it well.
You had your first babysitting experience this month--today actually. Grandma and Grandpa Rivera came over and stayed with you while Mommy went to the dentist. Much to their chagrin (Grandma and Grandpa’s, not the dentist’s), you slept the whole time!
You have glanced at your hands just a few fleeting times over the last few days and I predict that you will discover them soon. You are getting so interested in your toys and often stare at your crib aquarium toy intently.
I guess you have truly “joined the world” this month.

Boy are we glad to have you.

Love,
Mama

I hope I never forget...

2009-03-11T15:26:00.002-05:00

I hope I never forget...

The beauty of your toothless smile.
The way you try so hard to talk, letting out breathless "hhhhh" and opening your mouth wide.
How hard you work to break out of your swaddle.
The loud sucking sounds you make when you can get your hands into your mouth.
The way your first laughs sound like Cousin Stuart's.
The gray color of your eyes as they transition to their final color, whatever that may be.
Those quiet pooping grunts. Sorry, but I know one day that won't be so cute!
The way your adoringly gaze at your father when he comes into your field of vision.
How mellow you are.
The amazing softness of your skin.
How portable you are. I know this won't last, and you are already showing us how well you can nap during the day.
When your perfect little mouth makes sucking motions as you sleep.
How happy you make your grandparents.
The way you have fulfilled my ultimate desire to be a mother.

Thank you little boy.

Milestones

2009-03-03T20:06:00.008-06:00

A few new great milestones have been achieved in the last week...

Ben has started to coo in earnest. It's the sweetest thing. His happiest times are still while on the changing table (go figure) and I can almost always coax some sweet smiles and heart-warming coos out of the boy. Since I change about a million diapers in a day, Ben and I have plenty of time to "talk."

The other recent development (as of February 28th) is Ben's recent discovery of his hand. To be specific, he doesn't exactly seem to notice he has hands, and doesn't track or look at them, but he has started putting them in his mouth. The right hand was first and now he can get his left on in there too! Guess it's time to start asking people not to touch his hands anymore...or is that too Anal-Mommy?

Getting close...

Closer...

Bingo!

Our boy has also grown some serious eyelashes over the last two weeks. Maybe that's the one thing he gets from his mommy!

Sleeping has improved. Ben usually sleeps around 4 or 5 hours in the first stretch and 3.5-4 in the second. We still sometimes have our usual 3 hour stretches, but he seems to be stretching out a bit. We are happy when this happens--and so is our boy!

2 Months

2009-02-18T18:46:00.006-06:00

Dear Benjamin (aka Cheeks),

Happy 2 month birthday! Boy what a month. You are beginning to spend more time in your fabulous quiet alert state during the day (and sometimes at night—not as fun) and are gracing us with your amazing smiles more and more often. We tend to have the best “conversations” when you’re on the changing table (which is frequently!) and you are just starting to make adorable cooing sounds.

Here's a video showcasing both your sweet smiles and your not so sweet spitting up...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhqUGrIBf0g

You are currently around 13 pounds and at nearly the 70th percentile for weight and have grown about an inch in length (around the 50th percentile).
You had some shots at your 2 month appointment and handled them, well, like a baby. You recovered quickly and didn’t have any adverse reactions.
Sleeping seems to be two steps forward, one step back. Daddy spent a long night awake with you last night (he’s a saint!) and although Mommy slept well, you decided that it was more fun to hang with Daddy than to be sleeping. I don’t blame you!
You will still occasionally give us a 4 hour sleep stretch but you still usually do more like 3 or 3.5. We know you’ll get there!
You are eating about 4.5 ounces every 3 hours. Most of the time we can set our clocks to your consistency. You are a boy who likes to eat!
You have graduated to size 2 diapers, and while that might not seem like a big deal, it is a reminder of just how far we’ve come. I found a newborn diaper in my jacket the other day (I know that would make a good joke punch line…something like “you know you’re a new mother when you find a diaper in your jacket pocket…or something like that) and stared in amazement. How could you have fit into something so small? I am constantly putting outgrown outfits into storage and am a little melancholy each time.
It goes by so fast!
We have been going to the Rogers Park Parents Group with some regularity and, when you’re actually awake, enjoy looking at the other babies. Mom enjoys talking with the other parents. We went to “Uncle” Chris’s birthday party and everyone enjoyed holding you and marveling at how big you’ve gotten. Daddy had a birthday, too, and we celebrated with a quiet dinner with just the three of us and a nice family celebration with Grandma and Grandpa. They sure do love seeing you!
Grammy made you a beautiful sweater and Pops still loves to play music for you. What a lucky boy you are to have such a wonderful extended family.
“Auntie” Leah has been coming over about once a week. She’s a great support for Mommy and I know you and she are going to have a great relationship.
Your little personality is really starting to show. We think you’re a mellow chap but when you need something, you surely let us know. You don’t mind tummy time and still enjoy staring at fans and ceilings. You are able to track toys and people for quite a distance and are just starting to smile in response to Daddy coming home from work. He sure does like that.
Well, Boy, we sure do love having you here with us and are enjoying every moment with you (even in the middle of the night when you should be sleeping). We can’t wait to see what the next month has in store.
What a great adventure you are.

Love you,
Mommy

2 month appointment

2009-02-11T16:44:00.003-06:00

Ben had his 2 month pediatrician appointment today with the lovely Dr. Robinson.

He is still weighing in ahead...at a whopping 12lbs 6oz--somewhere in the 70th percentile. Way to go Chunky Boy!

1st night in the crib

2009-02-05T20:41:00.003-06:00

Big Boy Ben spent his first night in his crib last night. I'm not sure why I expected miracles, but he did his standard 3-4 hour stretches, just like he did when he was sleeping in the bassinette in our room. Not bad for a 7-week-old, so everyone says.
We also instituted a bedtime routine, consisting of a bottle, followed by playtime or bathtime, a book, a top-off bottle if necessary, and then bedtime. Last night required much rocking but there's a bath on the agenda tonight which will hopefully wear him out a bit.
We'll see how he does...as Jonathan so aptly says, "It's an art, not a science."

For the record...a real smile!

2009-02-01T20:48:00.003-06:00

Ben had his first real social smile tonight, during the Superbowl. I have yet to capture it on film, that could take some time.

Does this mean he's a football fan?

Next stop on the developmental train: cooing.

Can't wait!

6 weeks

2009-01-29T11:48:00.004-06:00

Today Ben is six weeks old.

Some milestones:

-Weighs about 11 pounds (most of that in his cheeks!!)

-Can hold his head steady while not supported

-Sleeps an occasional 4-hour stretch

-Doesn't hate tummy time

-When awake, is quite engaging and will stare deeply at you

-Is eating between 3.5-4 oz per sitting

-Is adorable

We went to my office yesterday for a meeting and a visit. Ben was great and was the star of the show.

I am looking forward to his first legit smiles (i.e. those not caused by gas or appear during his sleep) which, according to the "books" should happen any day now.

To Benjamin

2009-01-19T01:48:00.003-06:00

Dear Benjamin,
Yesterday you turned one month old and the time has blown by in a flash. Between meeting your needs and dreaming about what type of boy you will become, the days pass quickly.
Your entrance into this world came early; you dictated every step and we have been following your lead ever since.
The changes we see in you already are remarkable. Everyone who visits oohs and aahs over how small you are, but Daddy and I can't get over how big you have gotten already. I think every ounce of weight you have gained has gone right to your cheeks!
You aren't on any sort of schedule yet but there is some pattern to your days. Eating still happens every few hours, and is usually followed by a nice period of alertness. Then you doze off to sleep again and we lather, rinse, repeat. Of course there is much pooping. Mornings seem to be especially interesting to you and you do not always nap. Silly Mommy realized only yesterday that simply swaddling and rocking you can help you off into dreamland so you're not so exhausted by the afternoon. Mommy's still learning! There have been a few longer stretches at night that you've given us but I'm not holding my breath. We are quite happy to continue to follow your lead.
You graduated to size 1 diapers which was nearly enough to make me cry. How is it that my tiny, squirmy baby boy is already moving on, leaving his newborn days behind?
We have been practicing our tummy time frequently and can already see that you are developing better head control. Your little personality is starting to show and it appears that you have a bit of a feisty side. You used to cry purely when you were hungry or in need of a diaper change, now you are crying for other reasons instead. I scramble to make you happy because seeing you cry breaks my heart.
Being your mother is the most important, hardest, most satisfying thing I have ever done and I will continue to do the absolute best I can for you.
I guess I'm already wrapped around your little finger--Daddy, too. We'd go to the ends of the earth for you Sweet Boy.
Here's to a fantastic month full of firsts and amazing memories.
Love,
Mommy

One month

2009-01-18T16:16:00.007-06:00

Benjamin Jay is one month old today and boy did that month fly by! We have had a ton of visitors, all of whom remark about Ben's mellow and sweet personality.We attended the opening of our local fire house last weekend (in the middle of a huge snow storm) and were very close to getting our picture taken with

Mayor Daley. Ben has grown a ton this month and continues to look very much like his daddy.

But, as he reminds us every day, he is very much his own little person.

This is Ben's serious face--undoubtedly he is pondering his future an alderman in our ward.

Ben's sporting his Don King hairdo. Mommy's sporting her "convenience" hairdo.

It's been a great month. We have our next ped appointment tomorrow. Any guesses on weight?

Due date

2009-01-05T16:09:00.006-06:00

Today, January 5th, was Ben's due date. I can't imagine still being pregnant!

To celebrate, we had our first photo shoot. Things started off okay, then took a nose dive. Better get used to it Buddy--Mommy's obsessed!

Uncle Dan!

2009-01-01T07:31:00.004-06:00

Uncle Dan is here! My brother arrived safely in Chicago and made his way over to meet his new nephew.

First time he's ever held an infant--looks like he's a natural!

Ben also had his first real bath. He didn't hate it too much. Unfortunately I was unable to get a "during" picture (all hands were on deck, naturally) so the best I could do was an "after" picture.

Ben then proceeded to take a 3 hour nap...I think we will be bathing him frequently!

After a quick visit from Joey and Dad (on their way to a Bulls game) and Gram (Carole) and Gramps (Phos), we relaxed until it was time to venture out to Leah's for New Years.

Home by 9:30 and in bed by 10:30, I can't think of a better way to ring in the new year...with some Zs!

Here's to 2009, certain to be a very exciting year.

We've been busy!

2008-12-26T10:23:00.008-06:00

We've had a busy week since we've been home.

RV introduces himself to Ben. Note the puffy tail and general unease (the cat's, not the boy's).

Eddy introduced himself to the boppy. Looks comfy...does anyone want a cat? :)

Ben had his first pediatrician appointment on the 23rd in the midst of a big snowstorm. The appointment was great and snow or no snow, Mommy was sure glad to get out of the house!

Ever wonder how many masters degreed adults it takes to give a baby his first sponge bath?

Answer: 2

Ever wonder how long it takes one naked infant to pee in his mother's ear?

Answer: About 2 minutes after the first bit of water hit. Good aim, Ben?!?!

We've also been spending lots of time trying to get to know this little guy and loving every minute of it.

We're a family!

2008-12-24T09:01:00.003-06:00

He's here!

Benjamin Jay Rivera

12/18/08

7lbs 3 oz

20 inches

3rd Trimester

2008-10-11T10:34:00.002-05:00

We're excitedly approaching the third trimester.
Looking forward to meeting Baby Rivera and creating our family.

First post--test

2008-10-01T15:28:00.000-05:00

Is this thing on?